On the Way to Heaven?
by Sodapop02
Summary: Epilogue is up! Ponyboy is deathly sick. What is wrong with him? This story is about how friendship can get Pony through anything.
1. Nightmare

Sodapop's POV  
  
I woke up and knew immediately that something was wrong. I just knew in the back of my mind. I guess you could call it a big brother's intuition. My fear was confirmed when I looked on the side of the bed that Ponyboy slept on. He was tossing and turning, and then he screamed bloody murder.  
  
"Pony, come on wake up. It's only a dream." I said as I tried to shake him awake. He only yelled that he couldn't be sick and nothing was wrong with him, and he wanted to get out of here and go home. What was he dreaming about? Just then, he sat up.  
  
"Are you ok?" I asked.  
  
I noticed how pale he looked, and he had circles under his eyes as if he had not slept in days.  
  
"I'm ok, but I feel really sick." He answered.  
  
"Is that what you were dreaming about? Being sick?"  
  
"Yeah, I was in a hospital. The same one Johnny died in. The strange thing is I have not been feeling good lately. I've been really tired and lightheaded."  
  
"Maybe you should just go back to sleep now."  
  
He closed his eyes and was back to sleep as soon as his head hit the pillow. I threw my arm around him; pulling him close and hoping no more nightmares would come.   
  
  
  
Ponyboy's POV  
  
I heard the alarm clock go off. It was 7:00, so I got out of bed and got in the shower. Soda was already up and in the kitchen along with Steve, Darry, and Two-Bit. I came into the kitchen after my shower and ate some chocolate cake. Darry asked me about the nightmare I had the night before. I told him it was no big deal, and he shouldn't worry about me. I had only dreamed about being in a hospital and sick. That was all I could remember, but what had made me so scared that I screamed? Something really awful must have happened.  
  
*********  
  
Later that day, I could hardly think straight at school. I felt like a Mustang full of Socs had run over me. I felt lightheaded and I ached all over. Plus, I had all these bruises everywhere. Where the heck did those come from? After school got out, I did not have track practice, so I started to walk home. Suddenly, when I was only about a block away from my house, the world went to spinning. Then, everything went black as I passed out.  
  
Author's Note: I'm new here, so this is my first try at fanfiction. Send reviews please! 


	2. Results

Thanks to all reviewers!  
  
Melody: Thanks for the suggestion. I will elaborate on the characters' feelings when the story picks up more.  
  
Rocky: You will find out what is wrong with Pony in the next couple of chapters!  
  
Karlei Shaynner: Thanks for your review. I'm glad you think it's good.  
  
Hallelujah89: I'm glad you like my story. I will update as much as I can! BTW I love your screen name.  
  
Koujaku: I think you're right. It is missing something, and descriptions are a good idea. My writing will get more creative as the story goes.  
  
Two-Bit Gortez: Thanks! I'm glad you want to read more.  
  
(I forgot this last time) Disclaimer: I do not own the Outsiders.  
  
BTW In this story, Pony is about to turn 15, so he will have his birthday soon.  
  
Steve's POV  
  
I was walking down the sidewalk on the way to the Curtis house when I saw what looked like somebody who had been jumped. I looked closely, and I saw it was Pony. What happened to him now? I thought. He was always worrying Darry and Soda sick. I went up to him, and tried to wake him up.  
  
"Pony. Come on, kid, wake up."  
  
His eyes opened, and he looked up at me.  
  
"Steve?"  
  
"Yeah. It's me. Did you get jumped?"   
  
"No, I passed out. Suddenly, everything just went to spinning, and I blacked out. I don't know what's wrong with me." He said groggily.  
  
He looked scared, and now that I thought about it, aside from all the bruises he had on his arms he sure didn't look like he had been beaten up by a Soc. He only looked sick. He was always sick, always wanting attention.  
  
"Can you stand up, so you can get home?" I asked.  
  
Pony nodded and got up. He was a little unsteady at first, but regained his balance.  
  
"It's a good thing my head landed on the grass when I fell and not the sidewalk. The last thing I need is another concussion."  
  
He sounded so tired and worn out, and I have to admit, he didn't look too good either. We were silent the rest of the way to the Curtis house, and I couldn't help but think about why things were always happening to Pony. Yeah, I'm not crazy about the kid, but he was still my best friend's brother. Everything that's happened in the past couple years has put Soda through a lot. He didn't need anything else to worry about.  
  
  
  
Darry's POV  
  
When Pony and Steve walked through the front door, I was sitting in the living room reading the paper, and Twobit and Soda were playing poker. I saw Pony, and he looked sad and sick. He really worries me sometimes. Steve just looked annoyed.   
  
"What's going on?" I asked.  
  
"I was walking over here and found Pony out cold. I woke him up, and he said he passed out." Steve said carelessly.  
  
"What? Are you okay, Pony? Maybe you should go lie down." I said.  
  
"I'm okay, Darry. I've just been achy all over and tired, and my throat is really sore."  
  
Soda turned around and looked at Pony.   
  
"Pony, you're pale as a ghost, and your arms are covered in bruises." He said.  
  
Twobit seemed to be completely oblivious to what was going on until he turned and looked at Pony.  
  
"Glory, kid! Even I think a doctor needs to take a look at you."  
  
I agreed with him.  
  
"You're going to the doctor tomorrow morning, but right now you are going to get some rest." I said.  
  
Pony went right to bed. He didn't even protest. He must have felt as bad as he looked.  
  
Pony's POV  
  
I did as Darry told me, and went to get some rest. I fell asleep as soon as I hit the pillow. Gosh, I was tired. I woke up later, and I looked to see what time it was. It was 9:00. It had only been about 4:00 when I went to sleep! You would think I had stayed up to all hours the night before.  
  
Just then, Soda came in to check up on me.  
  
"How you feeling, little buddy?" He asked concerned.  
  
"I still don't feel well, but I sure could use some food."  
  
He grinned. That's good because we saved you some chicken. I didn't want to wake you up earlier at dinner."  
  
I got up and followed Soda to the kitchen as a wave of dizziness came over me, but I shook it off and enjoyed my dinner. I probably just had the flu or something. Oh, well. I thought. At least I had not lost my appetite.  
  
  
  
Soda's POV  
  
Pony went back to bed at 10:00 immediately after dinner. That was strange for him. He usually stayed up reading a book until Darry made him go to bed, and I told him to turn the light off, so I could get some sleep. Pony was sleeping peacefully, and I climbed in next to him and drifted off to sleep.  
  
************  
  
I woke up later on in the middle of the night because I could see that the bathroom light was on. When I realized Pony wasn't next to me, I wondered what was going on. Except for nightmares once in a while, he always slept through the night. He came back into the room with his head tilted back holding a bundle of toilet paper against his nose.  
  
"What's wrong, Pony? I asked.  
  
"I woke up, and my nose was bleeding." He said.  
  
I then looked next to me at his pillow and saw a huge blood stain on it.   
  
"I guess you need a new pillow." I got up, and walked to our closet to get a clean pillow.  
  
"I'm sorry for waking you up, Soda. I didn't mean to." Pony said.  
  
"It's okay. You know I don't mind." I answered.  
  
Darry walked in and asked what was going on. I guess he had heard us talking.  
  
"I just have a nosebleed." Pony said. "It's no big deal. You can go back to bed."  
  
"All right, little buddy. Good night." He said before he walked back to his room. He didn't show it much, but I knew he was worried. I could see it in his eyes. I felt the same way. What was going on with our baby brother?  
  
"Did it stop bleeding yet?" I asked.  
  
"No, it's still going. I can't help but think how weird it is that I had that dream last night. Did it mean something is about to happen after I go to the doctor tomorrow or is this just a coincidence?"  
  
I didn't want him to worry. He was probably fine and just had something a little medicine would cure.  
  
"I'm sure it was just a coincidence, and the doctor will fix you right up." I said trying to hide my concern.  
  
"I hope so. My nose quit bleeding, so I guess I'll go back to sleep now."  
  
Pony got back in bed, and fell asleep quickly. I did too, but I looked at him and again I thought of how my brother didn't need anything else to happen to him.  
  
Darry's POV  
  
It was the next day, and I was sitting in the doctor's office with Pony. He was sleeping soundly on my shoulder. I was trying to convince myself that he was fine, but I still had a bad feeling that he was really sick. I mean people don't just pass out and get a bunch of bruises for nothing. Then there was that nosebleed he had. Soda had told me this morning that it lasted for a long time. I'm no doctor, but I knew none of this was normal. The doctor walked in and introduced himself as Dr. White. He got Pony to wake up and asked him what had been wrong lately. Pony told him about his fatigue, lightheadedness, and his sore throat and aching arms and legs. I told him about how he had passed out yesterday. The doctor poked and prodded at him saying how his lymph nodes and spleen were enlarged, and then he asked about the bruises. He eyed me suspiciously when Pony told him he had no idea where they had come from. I knew what he was thinking. He was thinking Pony was being abused. Doctors always jump to these conclusions.   
  
"Mr. Curtis, do you know where these bruises came from?" Dr. White asked.  
  
"Honestly, sir, I have no idea." I said looking into his eyes.   
  
He nodded and seemed to believe me. He better. I love Pony and Soda, and I could never hurt either of them like that.  
  
"I'm going to need to do some bloodwork and maybe other tests depending on those results."  
  
Pony looked horrified. He hated needles and hospitals. I put my arm around him as the doctor left and told him it would be okay. A nurse came in a little while later to take some blood. As the needle went into Pony's arm, I could tell he was trying not to cry. He already felt bad enough. After it was over, the nurse left, and Pony went back to sleep.   
  
  
  
Pony's POV  
  
When Dr. White came back into the room, I knew by the look on his face that something was wrong. He sat down in a chair and started talking about my bloodwork results.  
  
"I'm very concerned about the results of your bloodwork."  
  
"Why is that, Doctor?" Darry asked. He looked worried too.  
  
"Well, Ponyboy's platelets and red blood cells are extremely low. He's very anemic."  
  
Anemia, I knew what that was; all I needed was iron pills, but the doctor wasn't finish yet.  
  
"Besides that, his white blood count is over 150,000. Normal is about 10,000."  
  
Wow, I was way above normal.  
  
"Given these results and all of his symptoms, it is best to check him in to the hospital for more tests."  
  
"When?" I wanted to know.  
  
"This afternoon." He answered and left the room.  
  
"Darry, I'm scared. What does he think is wrong with me? It must be bad if I have to go to the hospital for testing." I said with my voice quavering.  
  
Darry just hugged me. He didn't say everything would be fine or try to reassure me. He knew this was bad too. 


	3. Stay Gold

Thanks to all reviewers!  
  
rocky: Okay, here is the chapter you have been waiting for.   
  
crazy4nc128: Yeah, I like how Steve can go either way too.  
  
Karlei Shaynner: Thanks for reviewing!  
  
Koujako: Let me know if you were right about what Pony has because you will find out in this chapter.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own the Outsiders.  
  
BTW crazy4nc128 there is a lot of angst in this chapter.   
  
  
  
Darry's POV  
  
That afternoon, we went to the hospital, so Pony could have the tests Dr. White ordered done. Some of them sounded horrible when the procedures were explained to us. He had to have a bone marrow aspiration, and of course more bloodwork. When we were in Pony's hospital room, and he was sleeping again, I remembered that I had not called Soda to let him know what was going on. I went out to a payphone and called the DX, and Steve answered the phone.  
  
"Hey, Steve, can I talk to Soda?" I said to him.  
  
"Yeah, sure. Darry, what's going on?"  
  
"I'll tell you later, but right now I need to talk to Soda."  
  
He put Soda on the phone, and as soon as he started talking, I could hear the worry and concern in his voice.  
  
"Darry, is Pony okay? Do they know what's wrong? Is it serious?"  
  
"Hold on, little buddy, slow down. He is okay at the moment. I don't know anything yet. We won't know the results of any testing until later this evening."   
  
"Testing? What tests did they do on him?"  
  
"Bloodwork and a bone marrow aspiration. I don't know what they are checking for though. I'll talk to you later. Drop by the hospital after work. I'm sure Pony wants to see you."  
  
"Okay. See you later. Bye."  
  
I hung up and went back to Pony's room. He was awake, and when I looked at him, he looked like he had lost weight. I hadn't noticed it before.  
  
"Pony, I think you should eat something." I said.  
  
"Come on, Darry, I don't want to eat hospital food." He complained.  
  
"Well, at least go get something out of a vending machine." I answered handing him some change.  
  
He took it and got up quickly, obviously too quickly. He swayed, but I caught him before he could fall.  
  
"Pony, maybe you should stay here, and I'll go get you something." Just then, I noticed how red his cheeks were, and I felt his head to see if he had a fever.  
  
"You're burning up. I'm going to go get a nurse." Pony didn't say a word. He just lied back down on the bed.   
  
I got a nurse, and she came in to take Pony's temperature. When she read it, she looked alarmed.  
  
"104! We need to get you something to bring that down."   
  
She told me to get a cold washcloth and put in on Pony's head to cool him down, and she went to get some medicine.  
  
"Maybe you shouldn't worry about eating right now. Just get as much rest as you can." I said rubbing the washcloth against his face.  
  
"Okay, Darry. I'm sorry."  
  
"Sorry for what, baby?" I asked, but he was already asleep.  
  
Sorry? I hoped he wasn't feeling guilty. Pony has blamed himself for a lot of things that have happened in the past couple years. None of that was his fault, and it certainly wasn't his fault he was sick.  
  
Soda's POV  
  
I couldn't believe what was happening or what this doctor was saying about Pony! I had just gotten to the hospital, and the test results were back. The doctor had called Darry and me into a conference room since Pony was still asleep.  
  
"All of Ponyboy's tests confirm that he has leukemia, a cancer of the blood forming tissues. Specifically, acute lymphoblastic leukemia. In this disease, immature white blood cells called blasts multiply and crowd out mature white cells, red cells, and platelets.  
  
I felt hot tears well up in my eyes. Cancer. My baby brother had cancer. He wasn't even fifteen years old yet! How were we going to tell him this? I looked at Darry. I had not seen him cry in a long time, but I could tell he was holding back tears.  
  
"So what do we do next?" Darry asked.  
  
"Well, we get him started on a chemotherapy protocol." The doctor answered him.  
  
"Will this cure the cancer?" I wanted to know.  
  
"I will be honest with you. His chances of being cured are about ten percent, and treatment will begin tomorrow." He left us alone in the room.  
  
I broke down sobbing, and Darry wrapped his arms around me. I saw tears streaming down his cheeks.  
  
"Darry, we can't lose Pony. We can't live without him. I wish I could just take his place." I cried.  
  
"Soda, please don't say that. We have to be hopeful. Pony's strong, and he's already made it through so much." He said holding me tighter.   
  
He was trying to act brave, but I knew it was just a front.   
  
Pony's POV  
  
As soon as I woke up again, Darry and Soda walked into my room. I knew when I looked at them that bad news was coming, but I never thought it would be so horrible. I cried until my head hurt, and my brothers were right there with me. I was scared out of my mind.  
  
"Why did this happen? What did I do to deserve this?" I cried.  
  
"Pony, this isn't your fault. Please don't blame yourself." Soda said hugging me as I cried some more.  
  
How was I supposed to feel? I was more than likely going to die from this. I was horrified. I wasn't even fifteen yet, and I had cancer. Then, I remembered my birthday was only a week away.  
  
"I guess I'll have to spend my birthday here."  
  
"We will do whatever it takes to make sure it's still a happy one." Darry said.  
  
I was thinking how this could be my last birthday. How I might never finish school or go to college. Become something besides a Greaser. I mentally told myself to stop thinking like that. I had to be positive. I knew that, but it sure was difficult to see any light at the end of this tunnel.  
  
Twobit's POV  
  
Darry had called Steve and me and said to come to the hospital where Pony was because he had to tell us something important. I knew it was bad news, but it was much worse than I thought it could ever be. When Darry told us Pony's diagnosis and the rest of the horrible news that went with it, I kept telling myself that Greasers don't cry, especially in public. Right then, I sure wanted to cry. How could Pony be so sick? Why couldn't it have just been the flu? I knew I couldn't keep thinking this. What was happening was reality. I had to be there for Pony, and Soda and Darry too. I looked at Steve, and he looked exactly how I felt. I knew most of his concern was for Soda though. Glory, I couldn't imagine what he must have been feeling. Pony was his kid brother, and they were so close. Darry was trying to hide it, but I knew he was just as scared as Pony and Soda. We often called Darry Superman, but I didn't know if even he could keep himself together for much longer. I was starting to cry, and I knew I had to get out of there, away from everyone. Away from everyone I knew who wouldn't believe Twobit Mattews, the person who always had a joke to crack couldn't handle this without breaking.   
  
Steve's POV  
  
I couldn't believe this! Just when things were going good again, something else had to happen. Soda had already been through enough. All the Curtises had been through too much. I was annoyed at myself because I was starting to get too emotional. I saw that Twobit had tears in his eyes. I thought he had forgotten how to cry; had let go of his emotions. I guess not. I thought as he started to leave the room. I was going to let him go, but something told me to stop him.   
  
"Twobit, where are you going?" I asked.  
  
"I don't know. I need to get away from here."   
  
"Don't you think it would be a good idea to go see Pony and Soda?"  
  
"Yeah, we should do that." He said still holding back tears.  
  
We walked to Pony's room and went inside. We found all three Curtises together on the bed.  
  
"Stay gold, you guys. No matter what happens to me, stay gold." Pony said as his voice cracked.  
  
Darry and Soda lost all the composure they had left when Pony spoke those words. I went over and sat on the edge of the bed. I put my arm around Soda to let him know I was there for him. Twobit left the room, and at the time I had no idea where he was going. 


	4. Promise

Two-BitGortez: Thanks for the review on Ch. 2. All these reviews are making me want to write more.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own the outsiders  
  
Twobit's POV  
  
When I left the hospital, I wasn't sure where I was going. I knew I had to get away from all this, so I decided to go to the Curtis house. I needed a drink. Yes, that would make me forget about what was happening. They probably had plenty of beer, and it turned out I was wrong. There was none in the refrigerator, so I went to the store. On the way there, I started asking myself what was wrong with me. Why couldn't I handle this? Why couldn't I just laugh and joke and shake it off? Then I knew why. We had already lost two friends, and now Pony could die too. I got two six packs of beer, and went back to the house. I drank until I couldn't think straight. Usually it is hard to tell if I'm drunk or sober because I can be so scatterbrained, but anyone could have been able to tell now. We all had our own ways to deal with what was happening. The Curtis brothers just stayed together. Steve stayed with them because he knew Soda would want him to. I drank to get my mind off things. Wait a minute, I thought. This isn't right. Shouldn't I be there too? No, I wasn't good at "being there" for anyone. The only thing anyone ever wanted me to do was cheer them up. Right now, I couldn't do that. After I drank every beer I had gotten at the store, which was a lot even for me, I fell asleep on the couch. I felt sick already.  
  
Steve's POV  
  
I went to look for Twobit after a while. I wasn't too surprised when I found him asleep on the couch at the Curtis house. I was surprised at how many empty beer cans I saw in the living room. He was trying to drink away problems. I thought he knew by now that didn't work. I went over to him, and he looked as sick as Pony had a couple days ago. Only Twobit had brought it all on himself.  
  
"Twobit, wake up. Why are you doing this to yourself?"  
  
His eyes opened, and he sat up. Suddenly, he looked angry.  
  
"I don't know what else to do. Why did you have to come in here and wake me up? I finally forget about our messed up lives, and you have to come in here and bother me."  
  
"You can't make this just go away no matter what you do. Drinking doesn't help anything, Twobit."  
  
I couldn't believe I was being the voice of reason here.   
  
"Forget it, I need another beer." Twobit said.  
  
"There's none left. Look around. You drank it all."  
  
"I'll just go get some more then." He started to get up, but he didn't get far before I stopped him. "Do you have any idea how drunk you really are? You can't go walking around the neighborhood like that."  
  
"Fine then, I'll drive."  
  
What was he thinking?  
  
"No, you won't. You're way too drunk to be driving a car."  
  
"What do you care anyway?"  
  
"Are you so out of it that you don't understand none of us want you to get hurt Pony, Soda, and Darry need us right now, and all you can do is go get drunk like it makes problems disappear."  
  
I couldn't believe what I was saying. Where was all this coming from?  
  
"What do they need me to do? All I ever do is crack jokes and make people laugh. I can't do that now."  
  
"Is that what you think? That's not all you do. You're a friend. Did you forget about that too when you were getting drunk?"  
  
Twobit looked down at his feet, and I knew what I was saying to him was finally sinking in. Glory, he looked sad. I hadn't seen him like that since Johnny and Dally died.  
  
"Twobit, can you promise me one thing?"  
  
"I guess." He shrugged.  
  
I wasn't sure what he would say to this.  
  
"Promise that you won't do this anymore. Friendship can get all of us through this, but beer and getting drunk can't."  
  
"All right. I promise."  
  
For some reason, I believed he would keep that promise. I had to believe it because if he didn't keep it, I didn't even want to think about what would happen next. 


	5. What are Friends for?

Thanks to all reviewers!  
  
GirlsDontCri: You're right. Pony doesn't deserve this. I almost cried writing that chapter!  
  
CinderBrat: That's so sad. Do you know how the little boy is doing?  
  
Jessica: I already have the ending planned exactly, and at the rate I've been going, it might not take long to get there.  
  
Stinky Stan: Okay, here's more!  
  
Koujaku: What epidemic in what state in what town?  
  
CrazeLilDreamer: Twobit and Pony could use hugs, and so could the rest of the boys! Twobit sure needs the beer hidden too.  
  
Disclaimer: I'm already tired of writing this! I agree with the disclaimers on here that say if I owned the Outsiders, why would I be writing fanfiction.  
  
Darry's POV  
  
Today was the day Pony was to begin chemotherapy. Everything the doctors and nurses told us about it sounded like a nightmare. I couldn't believe my little brother had to go through this! I couldn't believe the rest of us had to watch him go through this. I couldn't wait until this whole thing was over, but I wasn't sure I wanted to know how it would end. I wanted to take Pony home so much, but I wasn't allowed to. I hoped they would release him soon. He hated the hospital. Nurses were always coming in with needles and taking vitals. I had no idea where Soda went, but I didn't think he would leave the hospital. He was not taking this well at all. None of us were. Pony was in his room sleeping again before he had to go get his first dose of chemo.  
  
Soda's POV  
  
I hadn't told anyone where I was going, but I was at the lot. I wanted to make sure I was back at the hospital before Pony got his chemo though. I was just thinking about what lay ahead of us. Steve had told me what happened with Twobit. I sure hoped Twobit listened to him because he was right. We all needed each other. I heard footsteps behind me and felt a hand on my shoulder. It was Twobit.  
  
"Hey, buddy. How are you doing?" He said.  
  
"Okay I guess. I'm going back to the hospital in a little while. Are you going too? Pony's supposed to start chemo this afternoon."  
  
"Yeah, I'll go."  
  
How can I be so calm? I thought. This wasn't something that was just going to blow over. Pony might not come out of this alive. That thought made tears well up again and start streaming down my cheeks. Twobit saw this and put his arm across my shoulders. Why did I have to keep crying like this? Why couldn't I be like Twobit and forget how to cry? I thought. Then I looked at him, and realized with shock that he was crying too.  
  
"I've been thinking a lot about what Steve said, and he's right. Friendship will get all of us through this. I'm keeping that promise I made." Twobit said.  
  
"Come on. Let's go on back to the hospital." I said, and we started walking away from the lot.  
  
Pony's POV  
  
Here it goes. I thought as I felt the IV needle slide into my flesh. The nurse hung a bag of liquid on the IV pole, told me to let her know if I needed anything, and left. Darry and Soda were there with me. Soda was gripping my hand that didn't have the IV in it. I was glad they had come with me. I couldn't do any of this alone. The chemo was flowing into my veins, and I hoped it was blasting all those cancer cells away. My stomach suddenly felt sick as nausea hit me. I started vomiting constantly. How could I endure this torture? I asked myself. This was only the beginning. Darry was rubbing my back gently, and he looked like he was going to start crying. I hated how this was making everyone so sad. I had even seen Steve cry. I was terrified and so was the gang.   
  
Twobit's POV  
  
Steve and me were in Pony's hospital room waiting for him to come back from chemo. Darry had told me about the side effects, and they sounded horrible. It would be hard seeing Pony like that, especially since the treatment sounded worse than the cancer itself. Darry came in pushing Pony in a wheelchair. Soda followed behind him. They helped Pony get in bed, and he went right to sleep. He looked so weak.   
  
"Twobit, we're going to run down to the cafeteria to get something to eat. Can you stay here with Pony for a little while?" Darry said tiredly.  
  
"Sure." I answered.  
  
Darry, Soda, and Steve left the room. I sat on the chair next to Pony's bed, and grabbed a magazine off the table to look at. I looked up from it several minutes later and saw Pony staring at me with sad eyes.   
  
"Do you think I'll be okay?" He asked.  
  
I didn't know what to say. I wanted to tell him that he would be fine, but was that the truth?  
  
"I don't know, Pony. I hope so." I decided to say.  
  
"Me too." He said as his voice cracked, then he went white and took off to the bathroom. I could hear him in there, and it sounded awful. I didn't really think he would want me to, but I went in there anyway. I rubbed his back and handed him a wet cloth to wipe his face when he was finished.  
  
"Do you feel better now?" I asked as he got back into bed.  
  
"A little. Thanks, Twobit."  
  
"No problem, kid. No problem at all. What are friends for?"  
  
Steve's POV  
  
Me, Darry, and Soda had gone down to the cafeteria to get something to eat, but none of us had much of an appetite. We just talked most of the time, and the subject of work came up.  
  
"When are you guys going back to work?" I asked.  
  
"I'll go back when I run out of sick days." Soda said.  
  
"I don't know. I think I'll go back in a few days. It won't do Pony any good if we go broke. How about you, Steve?" Darry said.  
  
"I'm going tomorrow. Guys, if there's anything I can do to help you out, I will. If you need to work, I'll stay here with Pony. Soda, I'll fill in for you at work anytime you need me to."   
  
"Thanks, Steve." Darry said.  
  
"Hey, what are friends for?"  
  
We left the cafeteria and went back to Pony's room. Twobit was sound asleep in the chair next to the bed, and Pony was watching TV. Soda went and sat on the bed next to him. Pony leaned against him, and Soda put his arm around him. Pony had to be okay. Soda couldn't live without him. None of us could. I realized then that even though I had never liked Pony that much, he was still my friend, and I wished I could take back every mean thing I had ever said to him. 


	6. My Friend

I'm sorry for taking so long to update, but I have to reinstall AOL on the computer. I'm actually typing this before I get it installed again, so I don't have access to reviews right now.  
  
Thank you to everyone who has reviewed my story!  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own the Outsiders.  
  
Pony' POV  
  
Chemo was a lot worse than I thought it was going to be. Even after being on it a few days, it still made me just as sick as the first time. Darry was in my room with me one afternoon because he had the day off, and Soda was at work. He wouldn't leave the hospital unless he had work. I even told him it was okay to go home and get some sleep, but he insisted on staying with me. Darry was the same way. Somebody was always with me. I liked that because I never wanted to be alone in a hospital. I just didn't want to be a bunch of trouble.   
  
"Darry, you really can go home if you want to. I don't want you to just sit around worrying about me." I said.  
  
"Pony I'm not here only because I'm worried about you. I don't want you to be by yourself. I know you hate hospitals." Darry answered.  
  
"I'm sorry about this, Dar. I didn't mean to get cancer and scare everyone."  
  
He looked at me with sad eyes.   
  
"None of this is your fault. Don't even think that. We don't blame you, and don't you dare blame yourself."  
  
"I'm sorry."  
  
"Pony, stop apologizing." Darry came over and sat down on the bed. He gripped my shoulders and turned me to face him.  
  
"Listen to me. One of us is always here because we love you. Even if you didn't want us here, we would stay anyway."   
  
"I know, but I can't help feeling guilty. You guys are worn out and worried all the time."  
  
"Don't worry about that. We're taking care of ourselves, but we want to take care of you too."  
  
I nodded and hugged Darry. I felt so safe with my big brother. I wished he could keep me safe from the cancer. I lay back down and my bed and went to sleep for a while. When I woke up, the whole gang was there. I sat up and looked at my pillow, and there was a huge lock of hair on it. The nurses had said that would happen, but I still didn't like it. My hair was what showed I was a Greaser, and my natural color had just started to grow back from the Windrixville incident. Everyone looked at me. I ran into the bathroom. It was only hair. It would grow back. Why did I care? It was another thing for me to deal with. That was why.   
  
"Are you okay, Pony?" Soda asked knocking on the door.  
  
"I'm fine." I said.  
  
Then, I felt the chemo I had gotten earlier hit my stomach. I started throwing up again. Soda came into the bathroom and shut the door. He looked worried, and that bothered me. I didn't want to worry him anymore, so I told him I was fine again.  
  
"No, you're not. Look at yourself. You've lost weight, you're throwing up all the time, and now you've lost your hair too." He said.  
  
"I haven't lost all of it." I said looking down feeling a lump rise in my throat. I didn't want to cry anymore. Soda took me in his arms, and I sobbed like a baby. He was crying too.  
  
"I didn't mean to make you cry too." I said.  
  
"It's okay, little buddy. Don't worry about it." He said.  
  
****************  
  
Later that night when I was back in bed, I got a case of the chills. I hoped I wasn't running a fever. That would be a bad sign. Steve was there with me then.  
  
"Steve, I think I'm running a fever."  
  
He looked concerned and went to get a nurse. The nurse checked my temperature, and sure enough, it was 103.  
  
"We better get you started on IV antibiotics and move you to ICU. The chemo has destroyed your immune system, so we need to keep a close eye on you." She said.  
  
Oh no, I don't want to go to ICU. I want to stay here. I thought.  
  
"Can I still have visitors?" I asked.  
  
"Only if they gown up and put on a mask."  
  
The nurse left to go arrange for me to move. I really did feel awful. Why is this happening? I asked myself once again. This was so unfair. Steve looked worried. I even had him worrying about me.  
  
"It will be okay, Pony." He said.  
  
"I hope so. It's just hard to keep believing that I can make it through all this."  
  
"You've made it through a lot already."   
  
What? Was this Steve trying to encourage me and acting like he was my friend?  
  
"Uh, can I tell you something?" Steve asked.  
  
"Sure." I said sleepily. I was ready to pass out.  
  
"Well, I know I've always been kind of mean to you, but you are my friend. I don't want you to think you're not."  
  
I couldn't believe my ears. Steve was saying I was his friend? I wasn't sure what to say to him.  
  
"You're my friend too, Steve." I said and grinned at him. I meant it too. 


	7. More Than a Greaser

Thanks to all reviewers!  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own the Outsiders  
  
Darry's POV  
  
As soon as I got off work, I went up to the hospital where Steve told me that Pony was in ICU. All kinds of terrible things were running through my mind. I went to go see him, and I had to put on a gown and a mask. I went into the cubicle that had my baby brother in it, and he was sleeping peacefully. When I sat on the edge of the bed, he woke up.  
  
"Darry?" Pony said.  
  
"Yeah, It's me. How are you feeling?"  
  
"Nice outfit." He said grinning.  
  
I grinned at that too. At least he still had a sense of humor.  
  
"I'm feeling okay. I'm just really tired. I was running a fever, so they put me in here." Pony continued.  
  
"How high was your fever?"  
  
"103. The nurse said my immune system was destroyed by the chemo, so they need to keep a close eye on me, and I'm on IV antibiotics." He held up him arm that had the IV in it.  
  
"It sounds like you only have a fever, and this is just a precaution." I said.  
  
"Yeah. I hope the antibiotics work. I can't fight anything with no immune system."  
  
"I have to go. Soda should be here by now, and he probably wants to see you."  
  
"Okay."  
  
"Just rest some more. I'll see you later, little buddy." I said as I left.  
  
I discarded the gown and mask, and went to find Soda. I ran into him at the double doors leading to ICU.  
  
"Darry, is Pony okay?" He asked with fear all over his face.  
  
"Yes, Pony's okay. He has a fever, so they put him on IV antibiotics and moved him to ICU. You can go see him. Just put on one of those gowns and a mask. And Soda, calm down."  
  
He nodded and went to go see Pony.  
  
Soda's POV  
  
As soon as I got into Pony's cubicle, I rushed over to the side of the bed and held his hand. He actually looked all right considering that he still had cancer and was in ICU. I hoped he would get out of there soon. His birthday was in three days. It was bad enough for him to have to spend it in the hospital, but we sure didn't want him to be in ICU. Pony slept the whole time I was there with him, but I didn't mind. I just wanted to see him and make sure he was okay. Then I wondered, what is okay? How could Pony have cancer and be on chemo and be okay? That wasn't really okay. He was just doing well with treatment, but I guess that was important if there was any hope of ever taking him home.  
  
Steve's POV  
  
Later that evening, after all of us had gone into ICU to see Pony, we were sitting in the hospital cafeteria talking about his birthday.  
  
"I sure hope he is out of ICU by then." Soda said.  
  
"I think he will be. This birthday has to be special for him, the best he will ever have." Darry said sadly.  
  
"Yeah, it sure does." Twobit said.  
  
I knew what they were thinking. Darry was saying that this could be Pony's last birthday. We didn't want to think about that possibility, but it was reality. Soda must have known what we were all thinking too.  
  
"I know what you guys are thinking, but don't even say it. That is not going to happen. Pony is going to make it! He is going to beat this disease! He's too young to die." Soda yelled and ran out of the cafeteria. Darry ran out after him. I looked at Twobit, and he looked at me.   
  
"Do you really think this is going to be his last birthday, Steve?" He asked.  
  
"I don't know. I hope not, and Pony's strong. Doctors aren't always right." I said.  
  
"We have to be realistic, but I guess that doesn't mean we can't have hope. Right?"  
  
"Right. Definitely right."  
  
Darry's POV  
  
I wasn't sure where Soda had gone, but I had a pretty good idea. I went to ICU, and there he was standing outside Pony's cubicle. Pony was sleeping, so he didn't see Soda standing there crying.   
  
"Soda, come with me. I need to talk to you." I said softly. He nodded, and we walked out of ICU together. We went outside and into the hospital courtyard.  
  
"What do we need to talk about?" Soda asked.  
  
"I'm worried about you, little buddy."  
  
"I'm only worried about Pony."  
  
"I know."  
  
"How could you talk like that? I know you were trying to say this could be Pony's last birthday!"  
  
Soda said angrily, but there were tears streaming down his face.  
  
"I'm sorry, Soda. Maybe I shouldn't have said that. I wasn't trying to upset you, but we all know that could be true. I still have hope for him. I'm not giving up." I said trying to stay calm.  
  
"No! It's not true. Pony can't die. He can't leave us, Darry. He won't leave us. I wish I could have the cancer instead of him."  
  
I closed my eyes as I felt tears starting to come. I couldn't break down again, but seeing Soda like this was hard. I thought he was in denial. If he was hopeful, I didn't think he would get so angry and say he wished he could take Pony's place. That wasn't hope. That was fear and denial.  
  
"Please don't say that." I said.  
  
"But it's true. Why Pony? Why not me? I'm the one who should be sick. Pony doesn't deserve this."  
  
I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Did Soda really believe it would be better for him to be sick?  
  
"You don't either. No one does. Is that what's bothering you? Do you think you should be the one to have this disease?"  
  
"Yeah. I mean I'm just a Greaser with no dreams who will never get anywhere in this world. Pony has so many things he wants to do, and this stupid cancer is in the way!"  
  
"Sodapop Patrick Curtis, stop talking that way! You're not 'just a Greaser.' I shouldn't have said what I did, but there seems to be more on your mind than that." I said louder and more harshly than I had wanted to.  
  
Soda looked at me with pleading eyes. I hadn't meant to yell at him, but I couldn't believe what he was saying. I took him by the shoulders and looked straight in his eyes.  
  
"You're more than a Greaser. We couldn't live without you either. You're a friend and a brother. Don't ever forget that."   
  
"I'm sorry, Darry. I didn't mean to make you mad." Soda said with his voice quavering.  
  
"It's okay. I'm not mad. I didn't mean to yell at you. I just want you to understand that you can't keep thinking like that. It won't do any of us any good. Pony is strong, but he needs us to be strong too."  
  
"I know. I'm trying to be, but it's hard when we don't know what's going to happen."  
  
"Come on. Let's go back inside. Do you feel better now?"  
  
"I guess so. Thanks for putting up with me." He said grinning for the first time that day.   
  
"No problem, little buddy. I love you. Don't you forget that either." I said hugging him.  
  
"I love you too. Don't you forget that either." He said laughing trying to mock me.  
  
I knew Soda would be okay then. He was smiling and laughing again. 


	8. Surprise!

Disclaimer: I don't own The Outsiders.  
  
Thanks to all reviewers and finally here is the next chapter!  
  
  
  
Pony's POV  
  
I was still in ICU on my birthday. The doctor had told me I should be out sometime today and go back to my own room. I really felt awful too, and I still had to take the chemo. It was just making me sicker. How could something like that possibly cure me? The whole gang had come in to see me, and I knew they wanted me out of there soon. A doctor walked in, and I looked up to see a smile on his face. I knew he had good news.  
  
"Well, Ponyboy, your fever is gone. I believe the antibiotics have knocked this out, so you can go back to your room. I'll make arrangements to move you back." He turned to walk out of the room.  
  
"By the way, I heard today is your birthday. I hope you have some fun." He said.  
  
"Thanks." I said.   
  
Soda's POV  
  
Pony was finally coming back to his room, and we were there waiting for him. This was going to be great. We had all the lights off and the whole room decorated with a banner, streamers, and all that stuff. The door opened as we ducked under the bed and behind chairs. Pony was rolled inside in a wheelchair.  
  
"Surprise!" We yelled as we jumped out of our hiding places.  
  
Pony looked shocked as his eyes wondered around the room, and he smiled.  
  
"Thanks, guys." He said.  
  
"Hey, we got presents for you too!" Twobit yelled.  
  
"And cake." Darry said.  
  
Pony made a face at that. We didn't really expect him to be able to eat the cake with the chemo and all, but what's a birthday without cake? He hadn't eaten anything in days. He got up slowly and sat down on the bed.  
  
"This is great, guys. You really didn't have to do this."   
  
"We wanted to. We want you to have a good birthday." I said.  
  
This made me remember what had happened three days ago. I fought back the memory and reality. This was going to be a fun day.  
  
We sung "Happy Birthday" to Pony, and he looked happier than I had seen him since he had first gotten admitted to the hospital.  
  
"Open your presents." Steve said.   
  
Pony opened his presents, and then said he wanted to have some cake. We hadn't given it to him because we thought it would make him sick, but he wanted it.  
  
"If you don't feel like you can eat, you don't have to." Darry said.  
  
"I know, but you guys got it for me, so I should at least try after all the trouble you went to. Besides, it's my birthday. I have to have cake."  
  
"It was no trouble, little buddy. No trouble at all." Darry spoke again as he cut the cake and handed out slices to everyone.  
  
Pony's POV  
  
Everyone was devouring their cake, and I slowly took a bite of mine. It sure was good. I loved chocolate cake, but I was starting to feel nauseous. Oh, great. I thought. Chemo spoils everything. I finished the cake and then headed for the bathroom. I hoped no one noticed. They had done so much for me, and I didn't want to ruin it. I knew I had to stop thinking like that. My friends and my brothers wanted to help me no matter what. I didn't need to feel guilty. I had just gotten chemo today, so it was hitting me hard. After a few minutes, I came out of the bathroom. Everyone turned around and looked at me sadly. This was yet another reminder of how much my life had changed and what cancer was doing to us.   
  
"What are you all looking at? I'm fine. I'm just a little sick. That's all. Let's just go on with the party." I said.  
  
"Okay. Whatever you say, birthday boy!" Twobit said laughing. That lightened the mood in the room, and everybody laughed. I could always count on Twobit to joke around even if the situation wasn't funny. While we were still laughing, a doctor walked in. He looked at us amused.  
  
"It's nice to hear laughter around here. I have good news."  
  
We all looked at him expectantly.  
  
"Pony, your bloodwork is showing major improvement. Your blast count has gone down significantly. Chemo is working great for you. I don't think it will be much longer before you will be declared in remission." The doctor left, and the reality of what he had just said hit us. I might be out of the hospital soon. I would go home. Back to my own house and my own bed. Now, that was a great birthday surprise!  
  
Twobit's POV  
  
This was the best news. Pony was getting out of the hospital soon! We all laughed some more and hugged Pony telling him how happy we were for him. Even Steve joined in. All of this had dramatically changed him. It had changed all of us. We looked at life differently, and we were closer. Pony still looked sick, but he was definitely happy. This had turned out to be a great day in spite of the chemo, but I couldn't help but think about how fast things change. How long would this last? Would the cancer keep responding to treatment? It had to. That was the only way Pony would ever get to go home. This was a huge step forward! 


	9. More News

Disclaimer: I do not own the Outsiders.  
  
Thanks to all reviewers! You guys are great!  
  
Pony's POV  
  
I woke up and looked at the clock. It was 3:00 a.m., and I had a bad case of nausea. Besides that, I felt so weak, and I had also developed mouth sores from the chemo. They hurt constantly now. They were another reason for me not to eat. I lay in my bed thinking about the day before. We sure had fun, and I had a good birthday considering I spent it in the hospital. The best part was the news about my cancer. That was great news, but I couldn't help wondering if it would last. Would I relapse? The doctors had said that was likely. That thought alone made me sick. My stomach suddenly turned on me, and I took off for the bathroom once again. I kept thinking this would be over soon trying to convince myself, but it was hard to believe at the time. I hoped I wouldn't wake Darry up. He had stayed tonight so Soda could go home. I wished I could go home and sleep in my own bed.   
  
Darry's POV  
  
I was asleep in one of the chairs in Pony's room, and when I awoke I could hear him coughing and throwing up. When would this be over? Hadn't this cancer already done enough to him? He had no hair, no appetite, and he could only sleep when he wasn't getting sick to his stomach. That was happening more and more. I hoped it meant the chemo was still doing its job. I got up out of my chair and went into the bathroom. I didn't even knock. I just walked right in. My brother was sitting on the floor up against the wall breathing hard and as pale as a ghost. I sat down next to him.  
  
"Are you okay?" I asked.  
  
"I guess so. I'm just sick again. Sometimes I feel okay, and then suddenly I feel like this again. I have mouth sores from the chemo too, and they just hurt more when I throw up." Pony said.  
  
"It will be over soon, little buddy." I put my arm around him, and he put his head on my shoulder.  
  
"I hope so, but what if it comes back?"  
  
"Then, we'll fight harder. Cancer is not going to win. We're not going to lose you." I said with my voice starting to crack.  
  
"I'm ready to go back to bed, Darry."  
  
"Okay. Can you sleep now?" I helped him up, and we walked out of the bathroom.  
  
"I think so." Pony said lying down.  
  
I pulled my chair over next to the bed and sat down. What Pony said had got me thinking. I had never thought about him relapsing, but it was possible. I just wanted him to get through what was happening now. My baby brother was already sound asleep. I closed my eyes and slept too.  
  
Soda's POV  
  
It was afternoon, and I had just gotten off work. Steve was staying a little later to finish up with some cars. I went to the hospital, and Twobit was in Pony's room. He said Pony was getting more chemo, and Darry was with him. I hated that they were pumping him full of that stuff, but from the news yesterday, I guessed it was working.   
  
"Twobit?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Did you really stop drinking?" Steve had told me he did, and I was surprised.  
  
"I sure did." He answered proudly.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"I just figured I should. After what happened the day Pony was diagnosed, I realized I don't need it. It won't help Pony get better, and it won't make anything easier."  
  
I sounded like Steve had gotten through to him. I was glad for that. Just then, Pony and Darry came back. Pony immediately got in bed, and Darry sat down on the edge of the bed next to him. The doctor came by and stuck his head in the door. He had a grim look on his face. He can't have good news. I thought. The doctor slowly walked in.  
  
"I have more news for you concerning the bloodwork we did before Pony got his chemo today."  
  
We all just looked at him with fear written all over our faces, and Steve walked in. He saw us, and the smile left his face.   
  
"What's wrong?" He asked.  
  
"The news isn't good, and I need to see Darrel Curtis alone for a few minutes." The doctor said.  
  
Darry stood up silently and left the room with the doctor. I looked at Pony, and I could tell he was terrified. What was wrong now? It had to be horrible or the doctor wouldn't ask to talk to Darry alone. Tears were running down Pony's cheeks, and I sat down next to him.  
  
"It's okay, little buddy. Whatever this is, we'll get through it." I was trying to convince myself too, but it wasn't working very well. 


	10. Fighting with Hope

Disclaimer: I don't own The Outsiders.  
  
Wow! Maybe I should leave you guys in suspense more often. I get more reviews that way, and it makes me want to write!  
  
A/N Okay, I added the rest of this chapter!  
  
Darry's POV  
  
I couldn't believe my ears. The doctor had more horrible news. How were any of us going to get through this?  
  
"Pony's blast count has gone up. It's higher than it was the day he was diagnosed. This means the chemotherapy protocol he is on has stopped working." He said.  
  
"Then, what do we do next?" I asked.  
  
"Start him on a different and stronger protocol as soon as possible and hope for the best."  
  
"I don't understand this! Just yesterday, you said he was getting better."  
  
"Cancer can always take a turn for the worst no matter what. We just fight with the drugs we have and hope they work. There is never a guarantee."   
  
"When will he start the new chemo?"  
  
"Tomorrow morning."  
  
How was I going to tell Pony or anyone for that matter? I rushed back to Pony's room and asked Soda to come out into the waiting room so I could talk to him. I wanted to talk to him alone, so he wouldn't be hysterical in front of Pony. I wasn't sure who would take this harder, him or Soda. I took a deep breath and began talking.  
  
"Soda, I have some bad news, but please try to stay calm for Pony's sake."  
  
He just nodded.  
  
"Pony has to be started on some new chemo because the one he's on has stopped working. The new chemo is stronger, but the doctor said we just have to hope it works and puts the cancer in remission."  
  
"What if it doesn't?"  
  
"Let's not think about that."  
  
"Darry, when is this going to end? He was better! What happened?" Soda yelled.  
  
"Calm down, little buddy. Please. There is still hope. We will keep fighting." I said softly.  
  
Pony's POV  
  
Darry and Soda came back into my room, and Soda looked almost hysterical.  
  
"What's wrong?" I asked.  
  
Darry sat down next to me and started talking.  
  
"Pony, the doctor told me that the cancer has stopped responding to the chemo you are on now, and he's going to put you on a stronger protocol and see if it works."  
  
"Stronger? That means I'll just get sicker. This was supposed to be over soon!" I asked feeling tears welling up.  
  
Twobit and Steve hadn't said a word, and Soda was just leaning against the wall.  
  
"I know." Darry looked down at his feet. "I told you it would be."  
  
"When do I have to start the new chemo?"  
  
"Tomorrow morning."  
  
Darry looked guilty. From what he had said a moment ago, I thought he might have been blaming himself for this.  
  
"Dar, this isn't your fault."   
  
"I know, but I shouldn't have told you it would be over soon."  
  
"Why not?" I asked. "You were just trying to make me feel better."  
  
"Yeah, but I only gave you false hope."  
  
"There is no such thing as false hope. You made me feel better. You made me realize that I have to fight to get to the end of this."  
  
He grinned when I said that. I guess I had made him feel better this time.  
  
Steve's POV  
  
I just stood in Pony's room silently wondering what to say. What do you say to a kid who has just been told the cancer he has was on it's way into remission, and then it did a complete turn around? I looked at Soda, and he didn't look like he could take much more of this.  
  
"Soda, uh, can I talk to you for a minute?"  
  
He shrugged and followed me to the waiting room. I have to be honest. I was really worried about him.  
  
"What do you want to talk about?" Soda asked.  
  
"I'm worried about you."  
  
"Why? Why is anyone worried about me? I'm fine. Pony is the one who's sick. Pony is the one who could die!" He nearly shouted.  
  
"We're worried about you because we care. I knew you wanted out of that room just now. You are on the edge of hysterics."  
  
"Of course I am, Steve. First Pony is getting better, and then that's snatched away. Now, if you don't mind, I'm going back to talk to my little brother."  
  
"Wait a minute, Soda. I just wanted you to know I'm here for you. You're my best friend."  
  
"Yeah, I know. I'm sorry for yelling. I'm just frustrated. I want Pony out of here."  
  
"We all do. He will make it home. He'll beat this."  
  
Soda smiled a little and then walked back down the hall to Pony's room. 


	11. Don't give up on me!

Disclaimer: I don't own The Outsiders.  
  
Thanks for all the reviews! Here's chapter 11!  
  
Pony's POV  
  
I started the new chemo the next morning. That stuff was stronger all right. If there had been even a single strand of hair left anywhere on me, it was gone. I couldn't imagine what every night was going to be like. I was going to get even less sleep than before. I also had another test that day. They said it was to check for cancer cells in my spinal fluid, and it was called a spinal tap. I had one when I was first diagnosed too, and this one was just as painful as the first. I did not want needles in my back! How would they like it if someone stuck a needle in their back? I knew everyone at the hospital was just trying to help me, but I was sick and tired of the place. I knew the rest of the gang had to be too. I was in the bathroom throwing up and coughing when I heard Darry and Soda come into my room.  
  
"Darry, do you think this chemo is going to work." Soda asked.  
  
"I don't know, Soda. I'm hoping it does. That's all we can do."  
  
"It's hard to believe it will with what the doctors and the statistics say. Sometimes I just want to tell the doctors to let us take him home and forget the medicine. Forget trying."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"I mean take him home and let him go without suffering..."  
  
"Sodapop! How can you say that or even think that? We could never let Pony die without putting up a fight!"  
  
"From what the doctors say..."  
  
"I don't care what the doctors say."  
  
I could not believe what I was hearing. Was Soda saying we should just give up? No, he wouldn't just let the cancer win. I sat up against the wall and listened some more.  
  
"We're just letting him suffer...." Soda trailed off.  
  
"We're trying to save his life. Did you forget about that part?"  
  
"What if it doesn't work? Then all this would have been pointless."  
  
"Soda, less than a week ago, you were saying Pony would beat this disease. You got upset with me because of what I said about his birthday. Now, listen to yourself."  
  
I couldn't listen to this anymore. I got up and walked out of the bathroom to let them know I had been listening the whole time.  
  
Soda's POV  
  
I saw Pony come out of the bathroom and quickly realized he had heard us. We thought he was still getting chemo.   
  
"Soda, is that how you really feel? Do you just want to let me die?" He asked me.  
  
"No, Pony. I don't want to watch you suffer anymore when we don't even know if this will work."  
  
"So you're saying it's pointless to try even if it gives me the smallest chance; the only one I have?  
  
I don't know about you, but I wouldn't want to die wondering 'what if'?"  
  
I hadn't meant to upset him, but that was how I felt. I didn't want to give up, but I didn't want him to suffer anymore.   
  
"Pony, calm down. Please." Darry said.  
  
"I'm sorry, little buddy. I just don't know what to say. I didn't mean for you to hear that. I don't want to let you die. You know that. Don't you? I hate seeing you suffer like this."  
  
"What you're saying is that you don't want me to suffer and then die. Right?"  
  
Hearing him say that made shivers run up and down my spine.  
  
"Yeah. It wouldn't be right if you had to take all this chemo and have it not work."  
  
"Soda, don't you have any hope at all? Why are you talking like this?" Darry said.  
  
I felt bad about all this. Why did I have to open my mouth about how I felt?  
  
"I'm just scared it won't work and we'll lose him anyway." I said.  
  
"Don't let fear make you give up." Darry spoke again.  
  
"Yeah. Do you think I'm not scared? I'm tired of this too, but I'm not giving up on myself. I'm going to keep fighting for my life." Pony said with tears streaming down his face. "Don't you give up on me either, Soda! I need you to believe I'm going to make it no matter what the doctors say."  
  
"I promise, Pony. I never really wanted to give up. You're my baby brother, and I just don't want to see you hurting anymore. I said what I did about the doctors letting us take you home because of that." I was crying as I said this. Reality was really hitting all of us hard. Darry was crying too.  
  
"I don't want to let you die, Pony. Please believe me!" I said.  
  
"I know, but it hurt hearing you talking about giving up. If this chemo is my only chance, I want to take it. I understand what you were saying now. It's just hard to talk about dying."  
  
I got up off the bed and hugged him.  
  
"I love you, Pony, and I'm so sorry I upset you." I said.  
  
Darry came over and hugged both of us. We all stood together in Pony's hospital room wishing for him to be cancer free soon, so he could go home well and happy. 


	12. Heaven

Disclaimer: I do not own The Outsiders.  
  
Thanks to everyone who has reviewed! I have 71 reviews for this story now.  
  
Pony's POV  
  
I was dreaming. I had to be. Johnny was standing at the foot of my bed, and Dally was right next to him. They looked so real, but they couldn't be. This was only a dream.  
  
"What are you guys doing here?" I asked.  
  
"What does it look like, kid? We came to see you." Dally said.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Well, we've been watching you a lot, and we wanted to make sure you never give up or forget about us." Johnny said.  
  
"Don't worry about me, guys. I'm not going to let this cancer get me down. It's just hard sometimes. I will never forget you. None of us will. The rest of the gang is right here with me." I said.  
  
"We need to go now. Nice talking to you again, kid." Dally said.  
  
Both of them disappeared as quickly as they had shown up. I awoke then and immediately remembered the dream. For once, it was a good dream, not a nightmare.  
  
"I miss you guys." I said softly. I knew they heard me. Dally and Johnny were always watching us. After I had that dream, a question came to my mind. Was I on my way to Heaven?   
  
Darry's POV  
  
I slowly came into Pony's room to see if he was still asleep. He was awake and just lying there on the bed.   
  
"You okay, little buddy?" I asked.  
  
He jumped a little, like I had scared him.  
  
"Yeah, Darry, I'm fine. I just had a dream." Pony said.  
  
"A nightmare?"  
  
"No. Johnny and Dally were in it. It's like they were letting me know they are watching us. They don't want me to give up or forget about them."  
  
I smiled. Pony was right. Our friends would always be with us.  
  
"It seemed so real. It didn't feel like a dream at all." Pony said.  
  
"How are you feeling today?" I asked, changing the subject as I sat down on the bed.  
  
"Okay, I guess. I'm not throwing up, but the sores in my mouth still hurt. I don't know if I'll ever want to eat again."  
  
"You'll have to eventually. You've lost so much weight that you're nothing but skin and bones."  
  
"Yeah. I just hope I get out of here soon. I'm really starting to hate this place."  
  
"You probably won't be here much longer." I said trying to reassure him.  
  
"How's Soda doing? He was so upset yesterday."  
  
"I don't know. I haven't seen him today because he went home."  
  
"Go check on him, Darry. Please."  
  
"I will. Don't worry. I'm sure he just needed to get away for a while."  
  
I hoped I was right. Soda was a mess yesterday, and that worried me. Pony really looked up to him, and he had to be strong. I guessed that was why he left the hospital. 


	13. Never Again

Disclaimer: I do not own The Outsiders.  
  
Thanks for all the reviews! I can't believe I'm updating again today. I hope you guys like this chapter too!  
  
Soda's POV  
  
I had come home last night, and it was Saturday, so I didn't have to go to work. I was just lying around the house thinking. I was in my room when Darry came in. I pretended to be asleep. I wasn't sure why. I just didn't want to talk to anyone.  
  
"Soda, I know you're awake. I can tell by your breathing." Darry said.  
  
"Yeah. I'm awake. So what?" I snapped as I sat up.  
  
"What's wrong? Why don't you go back to the hospital with me?"  
  
"Nothing is wrong, Darry." I said sarcastically. "Our little brother is in the hospital with cancer that could kill him, and I'm sick of watching it."   
  
"Do you think I'm not? I'm sick of it too, but Pony needs us. Why are you being so hateful?"  
  
"Why? I'm angry, Dar. I'm furious. He shouldn't have to go through this." I yelled as I stood up.  
  
"You're right, little buddy, but we can't change it. All we can do is help him through it. Why does it seem like you're taking this harder than anyone else; even Pony?"  
  
"I don't know. Me and Pony were always so close..."  
  
"Were? Soda, what are you thinking? You're talking in past tense. He is not dead. You two are close!" Darry yelled.  
  
He was getting angry now, but I was not going to quit talking.   
  
"It's not the same now. He's always sick and always locked up in that hospital room! Everyday it looks more like he's never coming home."  
  
"He is going to come home. Haven't we all been through this already? I thought you weren't giving up. Pony told you not to give up on him! Why don't you listen?"  
  
"I don't want to give up on him, but this looks so hopeless. He was on his way to remission and the next day worse off than he was at first."  
  
"Chemo is going to work..."  
  
"If it doesn't kill him along with the cancer! Sure, he'll come home, but it looks like it's going to be so we can make him more comfortable to die!"   
  
I had crossed the line when I said that, and Darry couldn't take it anymore. My attitude was getting to him. Before I knew what was happening, his fist had collided with my jaw. We both stood there in shock. Darry had hit me, just like he hit Pony. I touched my face where he had hit me as tears started to roll down my cheeks. We couldn't fight. Not now. Not when Pony was sick, and we needed to stick together.  
  
"Pepsi Cola, I'm so sorry. Oh my gosh. I can't believe I just did that after what happened before. I've got to stop letting my anger get the best of me. I can't keep hurting you guys..."  
  
I leaned against the wall, still in shock.   
  
Darry's POV  
  
I put my hand on Soda's shoulder. Glory, he was shaking. He almost jumped out of his skin when I touched him. I had scared him. I hoped he would forgive me. I didn't know if I could forgive myself, not again.  
  
"I'm not going to hurt you, Pepsi Cola. Never again. I promise." I said softly.  
  
"I can't believe you hit me after what happened last time." He cried burying his face in his hands.  
  
I wanted to hug him, so he would know he didn't have to be afraid of me. I just didn't know if he would let me. I didn't want my brother to be scared of me, but I wouldn't blame him if he was. I didn't have to decide what to do because Soda had made up his mind. He had his arms around my neck crying on my shoulder. I knew then I had been forgiven.  
  
"Darry, I'm sorry."  
  
"For what? This is all my fault."  
  
"I had the wrong attitude. I pushed you too far. I have to stop talking that way..."  
  
"No, it doesn't matter. There is never a good reason for me to hit you. Don't you think that there is. I was wrong, and I swear I'll never let this happen again." 


	14. Stick Together

Disclaimer: I don't own The Outsiders. Why do I have to keep writing this? Of course I don't own them. The great S.E. Hinton does!  
  
Thank you to all reviewers, especially the ones who keep reviewing all the chapters. That makes me want to keep going! There's going to be more of Twobit and Steve in this chapter because I noticed that I mostly left them out of the last few. In fact, Twobit's POV hasn't been here since chapter. 8. What else is going to happen? I have to think of something else angsty and dramatic! (Maybe not for this chapter though.)  
  
Twobit's POV  
  
I walked into the Curtis house; slamming the door on my way in.   
  
"Anybody home?" I called as I went down the hall.  
  
I stopped when I looked in Soda and Pony's room. Darry and Soda were there crying in each other's arms. What happened now? I thought.  
  
"Hey, you guys okay?" I asked.  
  
"What? Oh. Yeah, Twobit, we're fine." Darry said looking up and letting go of Soda.  
  
"You sure?"   
  
"Yeah. Look, I'll tell you what happened later. I don't really want to talk about it right now."  
  
"I was going to the Dingo to get something to eat or maybe just hang out awhile. Do you want to come with me?"  
  
"I'll go." Darry said as he walked out of the room.  
  
Soda stayed silent. He didn't smile or act at all like himself. Since this whole thing started, he hadn't really been himself, but now he didn't look worried and sad. He looked downright shocked.  
  
"You coming, Soda?" I asked.  
  
He just shook his head.  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"I'm going back to the hospital. My brother needs me." He said as he left.  
  
"Okay, buddy. See you later."  
  
******************  
  
Darry and me were at the Dingo, and he had just told me what happened between him and Soda. I didn't know what to say, and that's unusual for me.  
  
"I hope he forgives me." Darry said.  
  
"I'm sure he does. Pony did." I said.  
  
"I just don't understand why I can't control my anger well enough not to hurt my brothers. I can't see why both of them don't hate me."  
  
"Dar, you take care of Soda and Pony. You love them, and they know it. Sometimes I think you forget that you are brothers, and brothers fight. Everyone makes mistakes. They know that."  
  
Glory, listen to me! I was giving advice to Darry.  
  
"Yeah, but Soda apologized to me, like it was his fault."  
  
"What did you say to him?"  
  
"I told him there was never a good reason for me to hit him, and I would never let it happen again."  
  
"That was the right thing to say."  
  
"I know. I just don't want Soda to blame himself. No, he shouldn't have been talking the way he was but..."  
  
"You had a fight, Darry. It's okay."  
  
"I feel like some kind of monster. I'm supposed to protect them."  
  
"You do. You're always there for them. Even after you hit Soda, what did you do?"  
  
"I told him I was sorry and hugged him. I cried with him."  
  
"See? Now would a monster do that?" I asked smiling.  
  
Darry laughed.  
  
"No. Definitely not." He answered.  
  
Steve's POV  
  
I was in the hospital waiting room with Soda. He had told me what happened.  
  
"It will be okay, buddy." I said putting my arm around him.  
  
"I still can't believe it, and I don't want Darry to think I hate him or anything."  
  
I could understand that. I'm not sure how I would feel if I was in Soda's situation. I mean Darry had hit him, but it wasn't the same as between my father and me. Obviously, Darry and Soda were brothers, so that was a big difference. Darry cared and apologized, and he said he would never do it again. He meant it too. My old man beat me up intentionally and kicked me out of the house.  
  
"I'm sure he knows you don't." I said looking at him.  
  
His cheek was swollen and a little bruised, but nothing major. It seemed like I should be mad at anyone who would hurt my best friend, but I wasn't mad at Darry. He was upset too. It wasn't like he was being cold hearted towards Soda now. Somehow I could understand both sides of this.  
  
"I don't know how either one of us is going to tell Pony about this. I know he'll see my cheek and want to know what happened. It's not even just that part of it. I don't want to tell him what I was saying either." Soda said worriedly.  
  
"Just tell..."  
  
I was interrupted by a nurse coming up to us.  
  
"You're Ponyboy Curtis's brother. Right?" She asked Soda.  
  
"Yes."  
  
"I needed to let you know that he has been moved to ICU again. He has almost no immune system and is fighting pneumonia. We are giving him massive doses of antibiotics"  
  
"When did this happen? He was okay yesterday, and my brother saw him this morning."  
  
"Early this afternoon. I went in to take vitals when he was sleeping, and he was burning up and having trouble breathing."  
  
"Can I see him?"  
  
"Of course."  
  
The nurse left, and Soda looked like he was going to start crying again.  
  
"I have to call Darry. Wait. I can't. He's at the Dingo with Twobit." He said.  
  
"Calm down, buddy. I'll go get Darry. You just go see Pony." I said.  
  
"Thanks, Steve." He yelled walking away.  
  
I quickly ran out of the hospital to get Darry. I hope he's still at the Dingo. I thought. Why was this happening again? I didn't know the answer to that. I only knew that we had to stick together and Pony had to pull through. 


	15. Too Much

Disclaimer: I don't own The Outsiders.  
  
This story has 88 reviews now. Keep them coming!  
  
BTW Last night, I noticed that on my settings it said to not accept anonymous reviews. I changed that, and I'm sorry if anyone tried to review anonymously but didn't get accepted.  
  
Tensleep: I like suspense! (in my own story anyway)  
  
shyXshortieXbabe: Thanks for saying my story is exciting!  
  
J.L. Collett: I'm glad you love it. I love your story too!  
  
CrazeLilDreamer: You are right. ICU is evil!   
  
Karlei Shaynner: I love Soda too!  
  
Koujaku: Here is the next chapter. More happens to Pony!  
  
alyssaloo: I love your review!  
  
Sodapop02: *crying too* I didn't kill Ponyboy!  
  
Alyssa: Yes, you did!  
  
Pony: *"X''s on his eyes disappear and wakes up*  
  
Soda: He's alive!  
  
justxme: I'm writing more now!  
  
Chocolate Cake: I'm glad you like it! I'll keep writing!  
  
Soda's POV  
  
I rushed to ICU and put on one of those gowns, a mask, and gloves. I headed to the cubicle where Pony was and stopped cold in the doorway when I saw him. He was hooked up to a heart monitor, which was beeping steadily. He also had an IV connected to a bag of liquid containing the antibiotics that were supposed to be helping to stop the pneumonia. I went up to him and gripped his hand. He wasn't conscious, but I thought I felt him squeeze my hand. I sat down in a nearby chair and just stared at my little brother.   
  
"I hope you can hear me, Pony. I'm so sorry about what I said yesterday. I know I already apologized, but I just want to make sure you know I believe in you." I said.  
  
"I'm sure he knows." A voice said.  
  
I turned around and saw Darry coming in.  
  
"How's he doing?" He asked.  
  
"As good as can be expected I guess. I don't know. He doesn't look too good right now, but he'll get better." I said.  
  
"You keep that attitude, little buddy. I think he can hear us."  
  
Darry sat down in the chair next to me.  
  
"Where are Twobit and Steve?"   
  
"Down in the lobby. I guess they're just talking."  
  
Our conversation was interrupted by a loud beep coming from the heart monitor and the line going flat. Doctors and nurses came rushing in, and we got pushed out.  
  
"Darry, what's happening?" I asked frantically.  
  
"Pony's heart stopped. It's okay, little buddy. They'll get it started again." Darry said while trying to stay calm.  
  
We watched from the doorway as the doctors placed two paddles on Pony's chest and shocked him. Pony's heart had stopped. He had actually died right in front of us! I started breathing hard and panicking. This was too much.  
  
"Soda, are you okay?" Darry asked.  
  
That was the last thing I heard before everything went black.  
  
Darry's POV  
  
I heard someone yell "Clear!", and the next thing I knew I had to catch Soda before he hit the floor. Pony's heart had been restarted, but the pressure was too much for Soda. He couldn't stand that Pony had clinically died right in front of our eyes. I hoped he realized that Pony was alive before he passed out. If he hadn't, he would be hysterical when he woke up. The doctors and nurses were still in Pony's room, so they hadn't seen Soda pass out. I gently laid him on the floor and tried to wake him up.  
  
"Soda. Little buddy, wake up. Come on." I said.  
  
He slowly opened his eyes and looked around. I breathed a sigh of relief.   
  
"Darry, is Pony alive?" He asked trying to sit up.  
  
"They got his heart going again. He's alive."  
  
"I don't know what happened. I just got so scared. I thought he was dead."  
  
"I know, but you need to relax. Okay?"  
  
A nurse saw us and came over.  
  
"What happened, sir?" She asked.  
  
"My brother passed out. He panicked because that's our brother in there who just went into cardiac arrest." I said, helping Soda up.  
  
"I'll be fine. I just need to see my brother." He said.  
  
The nurse hesitated but seeing that Soda was all right, nodded and left.  
  
"Are you sure you're okay? You don't want them to check you out?"  
  
"No. I just need to relax."  
  
"All right, but I'm taking you home tonight right after you see Pony."  
  
"I'm fine, Dar. I don't want to go home. I just want to be with Pony."  
  
"You need to go home and rest. This was too much stress. You need a break." I said, standing my ground. I wasn't going to back down. We didn't need anyone else to get sick, and Soda could be on his way there if he didn't relax.  
  
"Fine." Soda said.  
  
He was protesting, but I knew he really did want to go home. He just didn't want to leave Pony.  
  
We went back in to see Pony.  
  
"He's stable, and we put him on a ventilator. That's a machine that breathes for him" A doctor said.  
  
I just nodded. Pony was very sick, but it wasn't even because of the cancer itself. It was because of pneumonia. That was something curable. Yet because of his weak immune system, he couldn't fight it easily. This was way too much for one day. 


	16. Awake

Disclaimer: I don't own The Outsiders.  
  
Hey guys! Thanks for all the great reviews!  
  
I'm almost to 100. 2 more to go!  
  
Steve's POV  
  
I was in the lobby talking to Twobit when Darry and Soda came back from ICU. To say the least, they looked tired and stressed out.   
  
"What are you guys doing in the lobby?" I asked.  
  
"I'm taking Soda home. Pony's heart stopped when we were in there, and when they were restarting it, Soda passed out. He's exhausted." Darry said.  
  
"Darry, why don't you just stay here? I'll take Soda home. You should stay with Pony." I said.  
  
I was concerned about my best friend too. Besides, I wanted to talk to him. Soda hadn't said a word. What happened in ICU must have shaken him up a lot.  
  
"Thanks, Steve. You're right anyway. I do want to stay here. I just hope the rest of this day is uneventful. It wasn't easy seeing Pony flat line."  
  
He was trying to stay strong, but I could see the fear in his eyes. I got up to leave.  
  
"Come on, Soda. Let's go, so you can get some sleep." I said.  
  
"All right. I guess." He said as he followed me out the door.  
  
"See you later, little buddy." Darry called.  
  
****************  
  
On the way to the Curtis house, Soda didn't say a word until I spoke.  
  
"Soda, why aren't you talking to me?" I asked.  
  
"What am I supposed to talk about?" He asked.  
  
"I don't know. I just know it's not good when you're quiet."  
  
"A lot has happened today, Steve."  
  
Wasn't that the truth? Darry hitting Soda, Pony getting pneumonia, his heart quitting, and Soda passing out. All of that had happened in one day. What else could go wrong? I thought. My question was answered when we came to an intersection. Obviously, the car to the left of us did not know there was a stop sign, which meant he was supposed to yield. I slammed on the breaks, but the car didn't stop in time. The other car crashed into the side of my car in a matter of seconds. We both happened to be wearing seat belts, so we weren't hurt. I hoped my car wasn't too damaged. The guy got out of his car and came running over to us.  
  
"I'm so sorry. I wasn't paying attention! I'll pay for the damage to your car." He said.  
  
Yeah, he better. I thought. He did seem to be truly sorry, so I didn't want to make a big deal out of this. No one was hurt.  
  
"I hope so." I said.   
  
We exchanged names, phone numbers, and addresses. We could just settle this ourselves. There was no need to bring the police into it. He apologized again, and then went back to his car. There wasn't anyone else around this part of town right now, so at least we weren't blocking traffic. I got out to inspect the damage to my car. It didn't look all that bad, but I was still glad I didn't have to pay for it. I got back in my car and looked over at Soda.  
  
"What's going on, Steve? Why is everything going wrong?" He asked.  
  
"It's fine, Soda. No one's hurt, and the guy is going to take care of my car. It could have been much worse." I answered.  
  
Soda just shrugged and leaned back against the seat.  
  
"Let's go home now."   
  
"We are."  
  
Darry couldn't have been more right about Soda. He was exhausted, but not just physically. He was completely worn out emotionally. I glanced at him and silently wished that something would go right soon. We all needed a break from this rollercoaster of events.  
  
Twobit's POV  
  
After Steve and Soda left, Darry and me just stood there for a little while.  
  
"Shouldn't you go back to ICU now?" I asked.  
  
"Yeah, I guess so. Are you coming?" Darry said.  
  
"Are you sure you even want me to?"   
  
I didn't want to be in the way if Darry wanted to be alone with Pony for a while. He looked at me like I was crazy.  
  
"Sure. Why not? You want to see him, don't you?"  
  
"Yeah. I just don't want to be in the way."  
  
Darry rolled his eyes and grinned.  
  
"Just come on."  
  
When we got to ICU and went inside Pony's cubicle after putting on the necessary clothing, I was shocked at what I saw. There were so many tubes and wires. We were standing on either side of him when he moved a little.  
  
"Could he be waking up?" I asked.  
  
"Maybe. I hope so." Darry said.  
  
Suddenly, Pony's eyes opened and looked all around the room. He couldn't move much because of all the equipment, and he couldn't talk because of the ventilator. This must have terrified him because when he saw Darry, he reached over and grabbed his hand.  
  
"It's okay, little buddy. I'm right here. Soda had to go home." Darry said.  
  
Pony turned his head and looked at me. Glory, he did look scared. He was probably wondering what was going on and why he was here.  
  
"Hey, kid." I said grinning.  
  
I didn't know what else to say. What do you say to a person who's confused and can't talk?  
  
"Pony, I'm going to call Soda and let him know you're awake. Okay?" Darry said.  
  
Pony nodded and reluctantly let go of Darry's hand. I squeezed his shoulder.  
  
"Don't worry. You're awake now. I bet you'll be out of here soon." I said, coming up with some words to make him feel better. 


	17. Pull Through

Disclaimer: I don't own The Outsiders.  
  
I have 108 reviews now! I just love reading them. Thank you so much!  
  
BTW JL Collett: You are my 100th reviewer!  
  
Anyway, keep reviewing. I don't know when or where this story is going to end. It's already gone further than I expected. I guess it will end when I run out of ideas! I don't know when that might be because I didn't plan a lot of the stuff that happened up to this chapter!   
  
Steve's POV  
  
I was at the Curtis house just lying around watching TV the next morning when Soda finally woke up. He had been asleep since yesterday afternoon. Darry sure was right when he said he was exhausted.  
  
"Hey, Steve." He said sitting down on the couch next to me.  
  
"Hey, Darry called yesterday when you were still sleeping. He didn't want me to wake you up. He said that Pony is awake now." I said.  
  
"I need to go back up there, but I don't have the truck. Can you drive me back to the hospital?"  
  
"Sure." I said as I turned the TV off and got up.  
  
Soda followed me out to my car, and he must have been feeling better because he joked and smiled a little.  
  
"Try not to get in any accidents this time. Okay? We don't have time for it." He said grinning.  
  
"Yeah, sure. I'll do my best." I said grinning back at him.  
  
Darry's POV  
  
Pony was awake sometimes, but right now he was sleeping. The doctors had said that the antibiotics were working, and his temperature had gone down some. I guessed he would resume chemo as soon as he got over the pneumonia, but I hoped that the cancer wouldn't get any worse without treatment. I was on my way to the cafeteria when I ran into Soda and Steve.  
  
"Darry, how's Pony doing?" Soda asked.  
  
"He's sleeping right now, and the doctors say he is getting better. Do you feel better, little buddy?" I said.  
  
"Yeah. I slept a lot yesterday. I didn't wake up until this morning."  
  
"I'm going to the cafeteria for some food, so you go on and see Pony. I'll be back there in a little bit."  
  
Soda started to leave, but then he turned around.  
  
"Steve, aren't you coming? You haven't even seen him yet." He said.  
  
"Oh, yeah sure. I'm coming." Steve said.  
  
"Steve, wait a second. Have you seen Twobit? He left earlier and said he was going to our house." I said.  
  
"No, I haven't seen him. He must have found something else to do"  
  
Steve and Soda left to go to ICU, leaving me with a strange feeling. I couldn't explain it, but it was the same feeling I'd had when Johnny got jumped before I even knew about it. I had a feeling something was wrong, other than the reason we were in this hospital.  
  
Soda's POV  
  
I still couldn't stand the sight of my little brother in that hospital bed, but I instantly felt better when he opened his eyes.  
  
"Hey, little buddy. You're going to be out of here soon. They say you're getting better." I said.  
  
I wished he could talk, but that ventilator stopped him. I hoped he would be off that thing soon.  
  
Pony turned a little and looked at Steve.  
  
"Hey, how are you doing?" He asked.  
  
"Steve, he can't answer you with the ventilator there." I said looking at him like he had lost his mind.  
  
"I know. I was just trying to make conversation. I didn't know what to say. Well, I guess I should say I hope you get out of here soon and off that ventilator, so you can answer me."   
  
We both laughed when Pony rolled his eyes at Steve. That was a good sign since he was still so sick.  
  
Later that day, Cherry Valance showed up at the hospital. I hadn't seen her since the day Pony was in court. I was out in the waiting room with Steve when she got there. Pony had gone back to sleep. She walked up to us and started talking.  
  
"You're Ponyboy's older brother, aren't you?" She asked.  
  
"Yeah, I'm Soda. Hey, you're Cherry Valance. Aren't you?" I said.  
  
"Right. I heard about Ponyboy at school. How is he doing?"  
  
"He could be better. Right now, he's in ICU with pneumonia. Since he's on chemo, it's dangerous. You can go see him if you want, but he can't talk because he's on a ventilator."  
  
"Okay. I'd like to see him."  
  
"I'll be right back, Steve."   
  
He just nodded and went back to looking at a car magazine he had picked up. I lead Cherry to where Pony was, and she got a sad look in her eyes when she saw him. Pony had told me about Cherry. She was different than a lot of the other socs. She didn't dislike us just because we were greasers. Bob was her boyfriend, but she had testified against him. Not many socs would have done that since the police would easily believe their story over ours.  
  
"Is he going to make it, Soda?" Cherry asked me.  
  
"Yes, he is." I said sure of myself.  
  
I had to keep thinking that. I had to believe my little brother would pull through. 


	18. Jumped

Disclaimer: I'm not writing this twice in one night. You all know the drill. I own nothing except a few doctors and nurses.  
  
Darry's POV  
  
After I had gone to see Pony again, I told him, Soda, and Steve that I was going home. On the way there, I kept my eyes peeled for Twobit. It was strange for no one to know where he was. Not too long ago, we would have all assumed he was out drinking or partying. He had promised to quit drinking. He wouldn't break that promise. I was almost home when I caught sight of someone lying in the lot. I knew it was Twobit. I had felt that way when Johnny got jumped. I parked my truck and ran over to him. My breath caught when I got a look at his face. It was cut up and bruised, like nothing I had ever seen before. There was a huge cut on his arm that was still bleeding. I was sure that wasn't what they had meant to cut open. Some socs must have jumped him with a blade and knocked him out. They had probably been drunk too. Twobit was unconscious, and I tried to shake him awake, but it didn't work. I didn't want to leave him like that, but I had to get help. I quickly got back in my truck and drove to my house to call 911.  
  
Twobit's POV  
  
I felt like I was stuck inside of a tunnel that kept pulling me in deeper and deeper. It wouldn't let me go. It wouldn't let me return to the land of the living. I was trying to fight it, but I couldn't. It was too strong. It only got stronger as it pulled me farther away from consciousness...  
  
Darry's POV  
  
A few minutes after I got back to the lot, I heard sirens. As they approached us, I talked to my friend even though he probably couldn't hear me.  
  
"Hey, Twobit. The ambulance is coming. You're going to be fine, buddy." I said.  
  
The paramedics got there and loaded him into the ambulance on a stretcher. I followed them to the hospital in my truck. Please be okay, Twobit. I thought. When we got to the hospital, they admitted him. I waited for a little while before a doctor came out. I explained who I was, then he informed me that Twobit had a few broken ribs that were bandaged up and also had stitches in his arm. He said that he should regain consciousness in a little while. Luckily, he didn't have a concussion. I went in to see him, and he looked somewhat better. Almost as soon as I walked in, his eyes opened.  
  
"Hey, how are you feeling?" I asked.  
  
"Pretty lousy." Twobit answered.  
  
"At least you're awake now. So what happened?"  
  
"I was walking to your house, and I got jumped by a bunch of socs. One of them had a blade. There was nothing around to fight with. I tried to defend myself, but it was six against one."  
  
They must have been some rough guys. I had never seen Twobit this beaten up before.  
  
"I found you unconscious in the lot on my way home and called the ambulance." I said.  
  
"Man, I'm glad you did. How's Pony doing?" He asked changing the subject.  
  
"He's doing okay and getting better."   
  
"That's good. I can't believe I landed myself in the hospital."  
  
"It's the socs' fault. They don't have anything better to do besides jump us."  
  
"I should've been able to fight them."  
  
"Twobit, there were too many. I bet they were drunk too. I need to go back to ICU and check on Pony. I'll see if Soda or Steve will come down here."  
  
"All right."  
  
Twobit's POV  
  
I couldn't believe I was in this hospital too. Soda and Steve came down here to see me, and we were talking when a doctor came in.  
  
"Well, Mr. Matthews, I see no reason why you can't go home. Just fill out this paperwork and come back in a few days to get those stitches out." He said and handed me a bunch of papers.  
  
Mr. Matthews? I smiled at that. It sure sounded funny. It was way too proper. Everyone I knew called me Twobit. The doctor left, and I filled out the paperwork. I sure was glad to be getting out of that place. I hadn't even been there long, and I was already sick of it. I hoped Pony would leave soon too. I would go see him first, then I would go home and sleep. I still didn't feel that great, and those cuts hurt some too. Why can't those stupid socs just leave us alone? I thought. 


	19. No more ICU

Disclaimer: S.E. Hinton owns every character.  
  
Karlei Shaynner: The socs are stupid. They can't even leave people alone when they're in a tough situation!  
  
JL Collett: The socs just don't want to leave them alone. Do they?  
  
Karen: You really think it's well written? Thanks!  
  
CrazeLilDreamer: Yeah, two chapters in one day. I just felt like writing a lot last night!  
  
SpreadTheLove: Hey, I might put two more up today! I'll just have to see.  
  
Battosai Yuriko: Yeah, it was random. The accident Steve and Soda got in was too. I thought that life doesn't stop for the socs just because the greasers are going through something. They are still going to do whatever they want. Anyway, I doubt there will be any more jumping, but who knows? I didn't plan on the first one until last night! I love your long reviews!  
  
justxme: Yeah, poor Twobit! Yay Pony!  
  
Koujaku: I feel sorry for them too! What am I doing to those poor guys?! Please update Broken Tears!  
  
Sara1664: They are having a rough time, aren't they?  
  
crazy4nc128: Yeah, Pony and Steve are getting along pretty good.  
  
BTW The only thing I changed was that Pony is not on the ventilator in 14 or 15 until after his heart stops. No major event changes or anything like that!  
  
Darry's POV  
  
Three days later, Pony was taken off the ventilator. His throat was sore, but he still talked a mile a minute. I couldn't blame him. I would too if I hadn't talked in four days! I didn't know when he was going to get out of ICU, but it had to be soon since there were obvious improvements. The doctors kept talking about how well he was doing and how unbelievable it was that just days ago he had gone into cardiac arrest.  
  
"Darry, are you going to work tomorrow?" Pony asked me.  
  
"As far as I know." I said.  
  
I hadn't worked since Friday. My boss knew about what was going on, so he told me to take a few days off. Pony was much better, and I knew he wouldn't want me to skip too much work because of him being sick. I was also going back tomorrow because I wanted some time away from the hospital. What I wanted the most was for Pony to be released, but that was going to take more time.  
  
Pony's POV  
  
I was so glad to be off that ventilator! I never thought I would say this, but I couldn't wait to resume chemo. The faster I got back on it, the faster I would be in remission. I had heard about Twobit getting jumped and Steve and Soda getting in the accident, but I felt like there was something the gang wasn't telling me. It's probably just my overactive imagination. I thought. After Darry left, Soda came in smiling.  
  
"Hey, Pony. Guess what a doctor just told me?" He said.  
  
"What?" I asked hopefully.  
  
"You're getting out of here and going back to your regular room. The pneumonia cleared up!"  
  
"Really? Let's go." I said starting to get up, but I was still weak.  
  
"Hold on a minute, little buddy." Soda said gently pushing me back down on the bed. "They have to arrange some stuff first. Besides, you're not up to going walking around this place. You're still sick, just not enough for ICU."  
  
I have to admit he was right about that. I still didn't feel well. I would feel even worse soon when I restarted chemo.  
  
Soda's POV  
  
I was so happy Pony was getting out of ICU. It was a step closer to getting out of the hospital altogether. I felt much better now. I wasn't as worried, but this was far from over. There was still a long way to go before things would be completely normal. Not too much later, a nurse came in with a wheelchair to take Pony back to his regular room. He sure was happy. I couldn't wait to see the look on his face when remission finally happened. Pony immediately made himself comfortable on the bed when we got back to his room and turned on the TV. It seemed like he'd want to sleep, but he was wide awake. He needed to enjoy himself right now anyway before more chemo had to be put into him. I lay down on the bed next to him and put an arm across his shoulders. I could finally touch him and be near him without a gown or any other hospital clothing on. I hoped Pony would never have to go back there again, and there would be no more ICU. I never wanted to set foot in that place again. We had almost lost him there. I shook that thought out of my head and thought about how good we would all feel when my little brother went home.  
  
A/N Sorry, I know it's short. I just wanted to post something about when Pony gets out of ICU and how the brothers feel about that and what lies ahead. Anyway, tomorrow, I'm going out of town to Atlanta. Maybe I'll have time to write some more. 


	20. A Miracle?

Disclaimer: I don't own The Outsiders.  
  
Yay! 132 Reviews!  
  
JL Collett: I'm glad he's out too!  
  
MissLKid: I don't always review everything I read either!  
  
Karen: Thank you so much!  
  
alyssaloo: Yes, he's finally out! Now, what is going to happen next?  
  
Koujaku: I hope you figure out what to do with the trial scene soon!  
  
Karlei Shaynner: Thank you!  
  
Aemilia Rose: Pony could use a hug! You don't have to hide!  
  
Sara1664: More should happen soon! I'm not sure what yet.  
  
Steph: Yeah, it can be depressing. I'll write more!  
  
CrazeLilDreamer: Pony could use a party!   
  
Joce: Thanks for reviewing! Somebody reported your story?  
  
Pony's POV  
  
"I'm sorry, Ponyboy. There is nothing else we can do for you." The doctor said.  
  
My heart dropped, and it suddenly became hard to breathe. I froze. I couldn't move. I didn't want to die.  
  
"No." I said frantically. "It can't be true. I have to live. I have to make it!"  
  
"I'm sorry..."  
  
The doctor's voice echoed over and over in my mind. Many questions ran through my head. How long did I have? How could Darry and Soda make it without me? Was I going to see Mom, Dad, Johnny, and Dally soon?   
  
Soda's POV  
  
I heard lots of tossing and turning beside me. Me and Pony had fallen asleep on the hospital bed watching T.V. I knew he was having a nightmare. I tried to calm him down.  
  
"Pony, it's just a dream. Wake up." I said as I rubbed his back.  
  
"No...I can't die. This can't be happening." Pony said in his sleep.  
  
My blood ran cold, and I immediately knew what he was dreaming about. My thoughts were interrupted by a blood curdling scream. Pony sat up in bed, shaking and sweating with tears running down his face and looked at me.   
  
"Pony, calm down. It's okay. You're safe." I pulled him into a hug.  
  
"Soda, it was awful." Pony cried.  
  
"What happened?" I asked softly even though it was obvious from what he had said in his sleep.  
  
"The doctor said I was dying, and there was nothing else they could do for me. I got so scared, Soda. I don't want to die. I don't want to leave yet..."   
  
"It was just a dream. That is not going to happen, little buddy. We won't let it." I said as tears welled up in my eyes.   
  
Pony just buried his face in my shirt. I hated that my little brother even had the thought of death in his mind. That wasn't right. I remembered the nightmare he'd had right before the diagnosis. That one had come true. I hoped this one wouldn't. After a while, Pony finally relaxed.  
  
"Can you go back to sleep now?" I asked.  
  
He just shook his head and leaned against me.  
  
"Why not?"   
  
"I'm afraid to. What if I have that nightmare again?"  
  
"You won't. I'll stay right here with you. I promise. You have to get some sleep. You're restarting treatment in the morning."  
  
Why did I just say that? I thought. Why did I have to remind him of chemo?  
  
"Yeah. Maybe I should get as much rest as I can." Pony said.  
  
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you think about that." I said.  
  
"It doesn't matter."  
  
Pony lied back down and closed his eyes. He was sound asleep in no time.  
  
Pony's POV  
  
Here I go again. I thought as the chemo flowed into my veins. I couldn't wait until this was over, so I could go back to my room and rest. At least, I would rest if the chemo didn't hit me too hard. I was sure it would though. When I got back to my room, only Twobit was there. Everyone else had to work.  
  
"Hey, kid." He said grinning.  
  
I grinned back at him, but I felt nauseous as I lay down on the bed.  
  
"How are you feeling?" Twobit asked.  
  
"Oh, just great. About as good as you must have felt after you got jumped." I said sarcastically.  
  
How did he think I was feeling? I had chemicals going through me and cancer along with it. Twobit looked hurt. I hadn't thought he would take it so personally.  
  
"Twobit, I'm just kidding. I didn't mean anything." I said.  
  
"Yeah, I know." He said.  
  
A doctor walked in then, and I tried to read his expression. Did he have good news or bad news?  
  
"Ponyboy, I looked over your most recent test results, and there seems to be a mistake. They all show no blasts. You've been off chemo for days, and your blast count was high before you got pneumonia. I need to take more blood to recheck this." He said.  
  
The doctor left saying a nurse would come in soon. I wasn't sure what to think. Could this be a miracle? A nurse came in a few minutes later to take more blood. I still hated needles even after all this.   
  
"The results should be back later today." The nurse said as she left the room.  
  
"What do you think?" I asked Twobit.  
  
"I don't know, but I do hope those results weren't a mistake."  
  
I smiled then. Maybe this would be over soon, but not today. I thought as I made it to the bathroom just before I started vomiting constantly.  
  
Darry's POV  
  
I went straight to the hospital after work where I found Soda and Steve already there, and Pony asleep. He must have been tired from the chemo. The gang told me what the doctor had said earlier. I didn't know whether to be happy or not. I was afraid to be hopeful that a miracle had really happened. What if it hadn't? What if everything was still the same? We talked for a couple hours before Pony woke up.  
  
"Hey, Darry." He said sleepily.  
  
"Hey, little buddy." I said.  
  
"Did you hear about my test results?"   
  
"Yeah."  
  
"The nurse said the results will be back later today. I hope the first tests were right. I don't know if I can take anymore of this."  
  
I sighed as I wondered what was coming next. I wished those results would hurry up, so we would know for sure what was happening. Just as I was thinking this, the door opened and in walked the doctor. 


	21. Remission & Happiness

I think this is probably the longest I've gone without updating. Anyway, thanks for all the great reviews!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own The Outsiders.  
  
Pony's POV  
  
I sat up quickly as the door opened and the doctor came in. I couldn't wait to hear the news, but what if it was bad? I didn't have time to think about that.  
  
"Well, Ponyboy, I have great news. You are indeed in remission. Medical science can't take credit for this one. It's a miracle. I'm sending you home today, but you're going to have to come in once a week for bloodwork and low dose chemo because there is a high chance for relapse." The doctor smiled as he walked out.  
  
I still felt sick from chemo, but I was getting out of this hospital! I could go home and back to school. I was sure Darry would make me rest for a while before I went back to school, but I wouldn't be in a hospital bed! I stood up, and Soda had me in a hug before I could get any farther. When he finally let go, it was Darry's turn. Both of them squeezed me so hard, I could hardly breathe, but I didn't care. They were happy, and so was I. This was finally over. After Darry let go of me, I turned and looked at Steve and Twobit. They were just standing there smiling and staring at Darry, Soda, and me like they didn't know what else to do. I ran over and hugged both of them. Steve looked shocked, and Twobit just laughed. They had helped me through this too. They had been there for me. I was finally in remission!  
  
Steve's POV  
  
Later that evening, we were all at the Curtis house. It felt great to have everyone there again. When Pony had been in the hospital, at least one of us was always with him. Darry was cooking dinner, and the rest of us were watching T.V. Mickey Mouse was on, and that was obviously Twobit's choice. I bet Pony really wanted a home cooked meal after all that hospital food or not having an appetite at all. Soda had made some chocolate cake earlier too, and he always put lots of sugar in it. That would be good. We hadn't had chocolate cake since Pony's birthday. I looked around at my friends and thought about how we had gotten closer. Something good did come out of all this. Pony no longer thought I couldn't stand him, and we were friends. For real, not just because of Soda. Twobit had quit drinking too. I never thought I would see that day. He was laughing his head off at Mickey Mouse. I rolled my eyes at him.  
  
Twobit's POV  
  
I laughed like I had never laughed before. I couldn't stop, and soon everyone was staring at me. Even Darry had come out of the kitchen to see what was so funny.  
  
"What?" I asked.  
  
"You're laughing at commercials, Twobit." Pony said starting to laugh too.  
  
"I'm just happy. It feels good to laugh. Is something wrong with that?"  
  
Everyone started laughing when I said that. Nothing was really funny. We were just glad that Pony was better and home again.  
  
"No, nothing is wrong with it. I feel the same way." Soda said.  
  
Darry shook his head as he went back to the kitchen, but he was laughing too.  
  
"So I take it you're glad to have me back." Pony said still smiling.  
  
"You bet we are, little buddy." Darry yelled from the kitchen.  
  
"Yeah. Don't you dare think any different either." Steve said in mock seriousness.  
  
"Are you glad to be home?" Soda asked.  
  
"Are you kidding? There's no place else I'd rather be." Pony answered.  
  
Soda's POV  
  
My little brother had been given a miracle. We all had. He was in remission and back home again. Just a short time ago, we were afraid that would never happen. Now, it was reality. Darry said that dinner was ready, and we ran into the kitchen. There was chicken, potatoes, and the chocolate cake I had made on the table. We laughed and talked some more as we ate. It sure felt good not to have to be so serious all the time anymore. We could relax and breathe easier now. A food fight going on interrupted my thoughts. Darry wasn't stopping it either! Potatoes were being flung across the table along with cake. I was laughing so hard it hurt. Twobit must have started this! I jumped up to hide behind Pony's chair, so as to not get hit. That didn't work. Pony moved himself and his chair just as both potatoes and cake came flying our way. We all had food all over us except for Darry, and that didn't last long. Nothing could top this day.  
  
Darry's POV  
  
We were a mess. I was clean until the gang realized I had moved out of the way of the flying food! Normally, I would have been angry with this, but I couldn't be. We were having fun, and that was what mattered. Besides, I was laughing too hard to get mad. Of course, I wouldn't be cleaning up the mess all by myself! I would make sure they helped, especially Twobit. He had started it when he flung potatoes at Steve just for a joke. Steve had thrown cake back at him, and then before we knew it, everyone was throwing food. It was still going on, and not only were we covered in food, so was the kitchen.  
  
"All right, guys. Calm down." I said.  
  
They all stood still and looked at me as I spoke.  
  
"Let's get this mess cleaned up."  
  
"Yeah, that might be a good idea." Soda said looking around at the kitchen still smiling.  
  
It took a long time, but we got ourselves and the kitchen cleaned up. After we finished, we sat in the living room.  
  
"So, did everyone get enough to eat?" I asked.  
  
I rolled my eyes and laughed as they took off to the kitchen to find something to eat. What a crazy day, but it was great to see the whole gang happy again.  
  
A/N I have no idea where that came from! It just popped into my head. I laughed as I was writing it! I don't know if it was really that funny, but it was a crazy idea. What do you think? 


	22. Overprotective

167 Reviews!  
  
Tensleep: I'm glad you like it! I laughed when I read your review!  
  
Battosai Yuriko: This story isn't over yet!  
  
Lizzy Halliwell: I'm glad you love it!  
  
Karen: I'm continuing this story!  
  
alyssaloo: You have a feeling he's going to die again?!  
  
Karlei Shaynner: I'm glad you think it's cool!  
  
sara1664: I'm happy he's in remission too!  
  
JL Collett: Please don't strangle me!  
  
SpreadtheLove: Yeah, everyone is happy!  
  
crazy4nc128: It's does sound like them!  
  
Koujaku: I hope your aunt gets better soon!  
  
Korin: I'm writing more!  
  
Aslan: I'm glad you think it's nice!  
  
redrose2310: That wasn't the end! Not yet!  
  
Aemilia Rose: Thanks for reviewing!  
  
A/N This story isn't over yet! Pony has to get back into a normal life with school and everything. Then, there is always the fear of relapse. I'm going to try to put some more drama in here before I end it because a cancer patient's life doesn't just go back to complete normalcy when they get better. It has a big effect on them and the family. Anyway, I'm glad you all are enjoying it. That alone makes me want to continue!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own The Outsiders.  
  
Pony's POV  
  
After everything settled down a little, I had gone to bed early. I had to sleep, so I could get all my strength back. Darry said I could go back to school in a few days, and I couldn't wait. I hadn't seen anything outside that hospital in so long. I fell asleep listening to my friends and my brothers still joking around in the living room and thinking about my parents. They would have been really proud of us. I knew they were seeing how happy everyone was now and laughing and smiling right along with us. I slept better that night than I had in a long time.  
  
***************  
  
When I got up the next morning, Soda was already up. He was making breakfast. That was unusual because Darry was always the first one up. He usually made breakfast.  
  
"Hey, Soda. Where's Darry?" I said as I walked into the kitchen.  
  
"He's still asleep. Can you believe it? He must have been tired." Soda said as he flipped pancakes.  
  
"Yeah."  
  
I sat down at the table and waited for the food to be ready. I was hungry, and those pancakes looked really good. I was already getting my appetite back. Darry came out of his room a few minutes later.  
  
"Now, that was a good night's sleep." He said.  
  
"It must have been. Soda was the first one up!" I said.  
  
"It looks like I get to help do the dishes this time."  
  
We all sat down and ate breakfast, and then I said I was going to go to the movies. I had really wanted to see a movie lately. I put on a hat and started to walk out the door.  
  
"Are you sure you're okay to go out?" Darry asked.  
  
"Yeah, maybe you should rest some more." Soda added.  
  
"I'm fine. Don't worry so much." I said.  
  
I walked out of the house and to the movies. I thought about how Darry and Soda must be really worried about me. I couldn't blame them though. I hoped they wouldn't be overprotective of me for too long. I had to get back to being a normal teenager again. I felt better than I had in weeks, and I wanted to take advantage of it. There weren't many people out this early, so I didn't have to be too much on the look out for any Socs. The last thing I wanted was to get in a fight and have to go to the hospital again. The movie I saw was okay, but I was too lost in my own thoughts to pay that much attention to it. I decided to take a walk over to the park. I hadn't been there in months. I didn't have good memories of that place. The Socs weren't too crazy about it either. I sat down on a bench and stared at the fountain and the sky. There were little kids running around too. They didn't have a care in the world.  
  
Soda's POV  
  
I was worried about Pony. That would never stop. He had been way to sick for it to stop. Darry was being overprotective too. We hadn't wanted Pony to go out because he wasn't completely well. There was still chemo in his system. All the "what if's" were running through my mind, but we couldn't keep him cooped up in this house. Fresh air would be good for him. That must have been why Darry had let him go when he said he was fine. I guess we were both afraid that something else was going to happen. Gosh, I hoped not. We couldn't take anymore.  
  
*******************  
  
Pony had left the house at 11:00, and it was now 2:00. I was getting nervous. That wasn't normal for me. It was usually just Darry who got all worked up when one of us was gone a long time. I was too protective of my little brother. He hadn't even been gone that long! This whole cancer thing had made me want to know where he is and what he's doing at all times. What if he got sick again? He just seemed so fragile now, like he could break any second. I knew Pony had to put this behind him, but in the hospital someone was always nearby to help if anything happened. I sat down on the couch and tried to clear my head.  
  
Darry's POV  
  
How long did it take to go see a movie? Well, Pony hadn't really been gone very long, but I was getting worried. I knew Soda was too. He's fine. I told myself. I was just being overprotective and paranoid. As all these thoughts were going through my mind, I heard the door open. Pony walked into the living room.  
  
"Hey." He said.  
  
"How was the movie?" Soda asked.  
  
"It was okay. I stopped at the park for a while on my way home too. I have a headache now, and I'm kind of tired. I'm going to go take a nap." Pony said.  
  
"All right, little buddy. You're not running a fever. Are you?" I said.  
  
"No, I'm just a little tired. It's no big deal."   
  
I hoped he would feel better soon. I was absolutely terrified of him getting sick again. He still didn't have much of an immune system yet, and that was part of the reason he was not going back to school just yet. 


	23. Sleep

Disclaimer: I don't own the Outsiders.  
  
A/N It has been a long time since I updated. One reason is that I have a slight case of writer's block. I have all these ideas swimming around in my head. Oh well, I guess I'll just write! In the Outsider's message board on the Fandom website, someone mentioned something I would like to try, and that's a story challenge. Someone gives you a set of guidelines for a story, and you incorporate it into your writing. So if anyone wants to give me a list of guidelines, that would be great, but a couple things I won't write are Mary Sues and slash. I might finish this story before I do that though.  
  
Thank you so much to all reviewers!   
  
Pony's POV  
  
I went and lied down on my bed, and slept for three hours. I awoke when Soda came in and started feeling my forehead and my cheeks to see if I was hot.  
  
"Soda, stop it. I'm just tired." I mumbled barely awake.  
  
"Oh. I guess I'm just paranoid." He said.  
  
I stretched and sat up.  
  
"Well, don't be. I'm fine."  
  
I was getting tired of saying that. I understood why my brothers were worried, but they would have to stop thinking about it sooner or later. I hoped it would be sooner. We heard the door slam. That had to be Twobit and Steve. There would be no use in trying to sleep with them here, so I thought I might as well get out of bed. I wanted to have some fun anyway. I got up, and Soda followed me out to the living room.  
  
"Hey, kid. How are you doing?" Twobit asked cheerfully.  
  
"Fine. Hey, Dar, I'm going to go for a walk." I said.  
  
Darry looked surprised.  
  
"You haven't even been home that long, and you just woke up. Have you even eaten anything since breakfast?" He said.  
  
"I'm not really hungry."  
  
"You're not gettting sick. Are you?"  
  
"Darry, for the millionth time, I'm not sick. I'm fine. The cancer is gone."  
  
"Yeah, but..."  
  
"Just leave me alone! I'm going to the park. Okay? Nothing is going to happen." I snapped at my brother and ran out the front door. I didn't even take a jacket. I would probably hear about that later. I just wanted my life to go back to normal. After I got out of the hospital, I guess I thought everything would be perfectly fine, but I was wrong. Darry and Soda wanted me in the house or somewhere they could see me at all times.  
  
Soda's POV  
  
The rest of us just stood there looking at each other after Pony ran out the front door.  
  
"He'll be back in a few minutes, Dar." I said.  
  
I didn't want him to worry about anything happening, but I was worried myself. What if he got sick while he was gone? What if he got jumped? He still wasn't in the best shape.  
  
"Yeah. He'll be fine. Like he said, the cancer's gone." Steve said.  
  
Yes, the cancer was gone for now, but Pony was still sick even though he felt fine. There were still treatments he had to go through. I had finally realized that this wasn't really over. Pony thought it was because he wanted to be normal. How could he be normal? The risk of relapse would always be there.  
  
"I don't know what's wrong with me. I want Pony to put this whole cancer thing behind him, but I'm afraid he's going to get sick again. I don't even want him to go back to school. I just want to keep him in my sight." Darry said.  
  
"I feel the same way." I said.  
  
"I feel guilty for nagging him and wanting to keep him locked up in the house after being in the hospital for so long."  
  
"You shouldn't feel guilty. It isn't your fault. Pony would understand." Twobit said.   
  
"Darry, we're all afraid of losing him. I have those same feelings too."  
  
"I just don't know what to do." Darry said.  
  
"We'll talk to him when he gets home." I said.  
  
Yes, that's what we would do. We were going to put all of this behind us and do out best to go on with our lives. Unfortunately, there was still chemo to deal with, and that would start tomorrow.  
  
Pony's POV  
  
I was getting hungry after sitting in the park for a while, so I went to the Dingo. I had enough money to get a hamburger and a millkshake. A week ago, I wouldn't have even wanted that. Now, it sounded great. I went in and ordered my food and waited for it to come. Darry and Soda were constantly worrying about me, and I wondered if they would always treat me differently. I don't just mean asking if I'm sick or okay all the time. I mean would Darry still yell at me or would it make him feel guilty? Would he ask me why I don't use my head? I couldn't really apply this to Soda because he hardly ever got angry at me. I sat thinking about this until my food came. Little did I know, I would find out the answers to my questions that night.  
  
*************************  
  
I still wasn't ready to go home after I left the Dingo, so I went to the drive in. Guess who was there. Marcia and Cherry. Soda had told me that Cherry came up to see me when I was in ICU.  
  
"Hey, Cherry." I said sitting down in front of her.  
  
"Oh, hi Ponyboy." She said and started talking to Marcia again. Then, she turned to look at me surprised.  
  
"Ponyboy! When did you get out of the hospital? You were so sick when I went up there to see you."  
  
"I got out yesterday." I said.  
  
"Well, how are you doing now?"   
  
"Okay. I'm glad to be home."  
  
"It was nice talking to you, Ponyboy, but we have to go. We're meeting some of our friends for dinner."  
  
"All right. See you later."  
  
Cherry and Marcia left, and I turned around in my chair to see what was on the movie screen. It was nothing good. Just another one of those beach movies. That's what had been on the night my life and the gang's lives had changed forever. I just stared at the screen, and my eyelids started to get heavy. Before I knew it, I had drifted into a deep sleep just like that night...  
  
A/N I'm going to write the next chapter now! Review please! 


	24. Talk

Darry's POV  
  
It was almost 11:00, and Pony still wasn't home yet. Where in the almighty universe was he? It wasn't really that late, but Pony had been gone for a long time, and I felt like history was repeating itself. I wouldn't let it go any farther than this though. I would never hit him again. Not Soda either. I still couldn't believe I had hit him. I guess Soda had forgotten about it, and we never did tell Pony. There was too much commotion that day for us to think about that one small part of it.  
  
"Darry..." A voice cut into my thoughts, and I shook my head to clear it.  
  
"Darry, will you relax? You're getting too tense. Pony's probably fine." Twobit said.  
  
I sighed and grinned at him. He was right. I looked over at Soda, and he was staring out the window with worry in his eyes.  
  
"Soda, you need to relax too." I said.  
  
"I know, but I just keep thinking 'what if?' I wish he would hurry up and get home. Where is he?" He said.  
  
"Oh, glory! Soda's sounding just like Darry." Twobit said.  
  
Soda had to smile at that. Twobit was just trying to lighten the mood.  
  
"I know, little buddy. My thoughts exactly." I said  
  
As soon as those words came out of my mouth, the front door opened and in walked Ponyboy with that frightened look in his eyes. Soda immediately ran over to him and hugged him.  
  
"Where have you been?" I said trying to stay calm.  
  
"I...I fell asleep at the drive in, and I just woke up a few minutes ago." Pony said quickly.  
  
"What? How do you fall asleep at a drive in?" I was starting to get angry now.   
  
"I was tired, and I just fell asleep."  
  
"You said you were going to the park." Soda said.  
  
"I did go to the park, but then I went to the Dingo, and after that I went to the drive in."  
  
I couldn't believe how calm I was, but that wasn't going to last long. This had really scared me.  
  
"Ponyboy Michael Curtis, we were worried sick about you. You were gone for six hours!" I said angrily.  
  
"I'm sorry. I just..."  
  
"What if you had gotten sick or hurt? Why are you so tired?"  
  
"There you go with that again! I wondered what you would say the next time I was in trouble. Not too long ago, you would have been yelling about curfews or how I can't use my head. Now everything revolves around cancer."  
  
"We're scared, Pony, and you going off and making us worry more doesn't help."  
  
"What are you scared of? Are you scared it's going to come back? Guess what? I am too, but if it wants to come back, I can't stop it, and neither can you! It doesn't matter what you do!" Tears were welling up in Pony's eyes as he said this.  
  
Soda was now on the couch with his head in his hands, and Steve and Twobit were leaning up against the wall. Pony was right. None of us could stop it. I have to admit, I wasn't angry this time because of curfews, falling asleep at the wrong time, or being just plain worried sick. I was angry strictly because I was afraid of losing my little brother. That was the only reason. I wasn't afraid of socs jumping Pony when he was out late either. I was afraid because I couldn't protect him from cancer. That was why I wanted him where I could see him all the time, why I was always asking if he was okay, why I wanted to know how he could be so tired as to fall asleep at the drive in. Normally, I would have been yelling and wanting to know what the heck was wrong with him.  
  
"Pony, listen..." I said.  
  
"No, you listen. Stop treating me like I'm going to break! Yell at me like you would have before I got cancer." He was crying now.  
  
I didn't want to yell at him. I wanted to tell him how I felt.  
  
"No, Pony. Let's go to your room and talk. Okay? You too, Soda."  
  
They both followed me to their room. I asked Soda to come because I knew he was feeling this too. We were so afraid of losing Pony. All three of us sat down on the bed, and I started talking first.  
  
"Pony, I don't even know how to say this. I'm afraid that we're going to lose you." I said.  
  
"What does that have to do with my being gone so long?" Pony asked.  
  
"It's like what you said a minute ago about how we can't stop the cancer from coming back. I was worried and angry because I can't protect you when you're out. That's why I want you home. I'm not mad because you fell asleep. I'm scared because of the cancer. I realized I can't protect you from it no matter what I do."  
  
"You're mad because you're scared?"   
  
"Yeah. I know I've been nagging you a lot too, and I'm sorry."  
  
"Me too, Pony. I want to protect you from it, but I can't either." Soda said.  
  
"I'm sorry I didn't yell at you too like you said you wanted." I said smiling.  
  
"I didn't really want you too. I just want you to treat me normally. Don't be so scared of this disease that you can't treat me like a regular kid." Pony said.  
  
"I'll try, but..."  
  
"And, Darry, don't ever feel guilty for yelling at me or grounding me. If I get sick again, those things won't matter. I'll never think you don't care about me. Especially after tonight."  
  
He had read my mind. I put my arms around my baby brother and held him tight. Soda did the same, and I knew this talk had made him feel better too. 


	25. Bad Signs

A/N: Thanks for all the great reviews! I'm up to 191 now! I'm sorry it's been over a month since my last update. I'm having some writer's block. I know what I want to happen, but I'm not sure where to start. I'm waiting for an angsty event to come to my mind that I can use. Maybe something will come. Maybe it won't.   
  
Disclaimer: I own no characters from the Outsiders. I'm getting no money for writing this!  
  
Pony's POV  
  
As soon as I woke up, I remembered this was the first day I had to go to the hospital for outpatient chemo. Oh well, at least it was only once a week. I didn't have to be there for a couple more hours, so I got up and took a shower. After I got out of the shower and got dressed, I took a good look at myself in the mirror. Will I ever look like myself again? I thought. I was still skinny and bald. I hoped my hair would grow back soon. I left the bathroom and found the gang gathered in our kitchen eating eggs and chocolate cake. I got a plate and some food, thinking that would probably be the only time I would want to eat today.  
  
"What time do I have to go to the hospital?" I asked Darry.  
  
"About 2:00." He said.  
  
I looked at the clock, and it was only 10:00 now. The gang was carrying on a conversation about some story Darry had read in the newspaper, but I tuned them out and thought about the days and years ahead of me. I would be on chemo for more than two years. I had been told by one of the nurses about the treatment length. That sure was a long time, but I would be able to live a pretty normal life. If it would help prevent a relapse, all the chemo was definitely worth it.  
  
"Earth to Ponyboy." I heard a voice say  
  
I looked up, and Twobit was waving his hand in front of my face.  
  
"What?" I said.  
  
"Lost in your day dreams?" Soda asked.  
  
"Yeah, I guess so."  
  
"You haven't even touched your food." Steve said.  
  
"Oh, I guess I just forgot it was there. I'm must not be as hungry as I thought I was." I said as I picked up my fork and started eating.  
  
Everyone laughed and I smiled.  
  
********************************  
  
When we went to the hospital later that day, I went straight to the oncology floor. First, I got blood drawn for lab work, and then I was hooked up to an IV for chemo. Darry and Soda sat down and looked at magazines while we waited. I thought about the first time I had gotten chemo and how both of my brothers had been as tense and scared as I was. Now, we were sitting around like this was normal. That was really kind of scary. As the chemo flowed through my veins, I started feeling sick to my stomach again. I would never get used to this. Darry saw the look on my face and handed me a basin to throw up in. My stomach heaved, and Darry just rubbed my back as I vomited over and over again. Soda came over and laid his hand on my shoulder. Finally, the vomiting subsided, and I leaned back and closed my eyes. A few minutes later, a nurse came and unhooked the IV. I didn't even want to get up, but I knew I had to. Darry helped me out of the chair I was sitting in and into a wheelchair. I couldn't wait to get home and into my own bed, but I would probably spend a lot of this day in the bathroom. Well, at least it was our house and not the hospital. Darry pushed me out to the truck, and he helped me get in while Soda took the wheelchair back. I stretched out on the back seat and immediately went to sleep.   
  
Steve's POV  
  
I was still lounging around the Curtis house when Darry came in. He was carrying Pony who was sound asleep. Chemo had taken its toll on him once again. Soda came in and sat down next to me on the couch, and Darry took Pony to his room.  
  
"Did he do okay?" I asked.  
  
"Yeah. He's just really tired." Soda answered.  
  
Darry came back into the room and collapsed into his chair  
  
"I don't see how he's going to do this for another two years." He said.  
  
"Two years?" I said shocked.  
  
"Yeah, that's how long treatment lasts. It is a long time."  
  
"Pony will get through it, Dar. He's already come this far." Twobit said.  
  
He was sitting on the floor watching TV. I hadn't known that he even realized we were in the room.  
  
"That's true." Soda said.  
  
"Hey, guys, how about a game of poker. It will take your minds off everything. Who's in?"  
  
They all said that was a good idea, so we played three hands. The usual happened. Soda tried to cheat when no one was looking, and Twobit cracked jokes the whole time. Darry acted like there was something else on his mind though. I would later find out what it was.  
  
Darry's POV  
  
I couldn't really keep my mind on the game, so I folded and went to check on Pony. He was sleeping soundly, but he looked very pale. What I couldn't get my mind off were the bruises on his arms. There weren't many, but I wondered if there were more in other places. That wasn't a good sign. I didn't even want to think about what it could mean. Soda came in and stood next to me.  
  
"What are you doing?" He asked.  
  
"I was just checking on Pony." I said.  
  
Soda looked at Pony, and I knew by the look in his eyes that he had seen the paleness and the bruises. I guess we just hadn't gotten a good look at him earlier. Those symptoms wouldn't appear that suddenly. Soda picked up Pony's hand and held it.  
  
"Please don't be..." Soda trailed off.  
  
He didn't want to say the word.  
  
"It's probably just anemia and low platelets from the chemo. Nothing else." I said suppressing my own fears.  
  
"I hope so, Darry." He whispered.  
  
I pushed my worries aside as I realized that the hospital would call if there were any problems with Pony's bloodwork. As it turned out, they did call a few hours later.  
  
A/N Yes! I finally got this chapter written. I wrote the author's note and the first paragraph like a week ago. Yeah, it's kind of a cliffhanger. I like leaving it in places where the doctor walks in or a hospital calls with news that can change a story's direction! Anyway, review! 


	26. Worry & Waiting

202 reviews! I never thought I would get there!  
  
Disclaimer: I DO NOT own the Outsiders.   
  
I'll put Twobit's POV in here somewhere because I just looked through my chapters, and he hasn't been in here since chapter 21.   
  
Soda's POV  
  
As Darry answered the phone when the hospital called, I couldn't stop worrying. What if they said the leukemia was back? What would we do then? I pushed my worries aside and sat down on the couch trying to relax.  
  
"It's up again?" Darry was saying. "Well, what do we do?" He listened for a moment. "Okay, we'll bring him in tomorrow." He hung up the phone and turned to look at me, Twobit, and Steve.  
  
"What did they say?" I asked.  
  
"Pony's white blood count is up again. Either it's just an infection or the cancer has come back. We have to take him back to the hospital tomorrow and get a bone marrow aspiration to see if it is leukemia. If it's not, we'll give him medicine for whatever it is he has." Darry said.  
  
"What if it is?" Twobit spoke the question that was on my mind.  
  
"I don't know. We just have to see."  
  
"This can't be happening. How are we going to tell Pony?" I said.  
  
"When he wakes up, we'll just tell him what's going on. We don't know anything for sure right now." Darry said.  
  
He was being awfully calm. I couldn't understand how. I wasn't going to be calm unless we found out for sure that this was only a simple infection.  
  
"What kind of infection could it be?" Steve asked.  
  
"It could be a cold, mono, any number of things." Darry answered.  
  
I left to go sit outside on the porch. I needed time to think and relax. I couldn't do that with everyone around. A few minutes later, I heard the door open, and Steve sat down beside me.  
  
"What are you doing, Soda? He asked.  
  
"I'm just sitting here. I don't know what else to do." I said.  
  
"Ever thought about sleeping?"   
  
"I don't think I can sleep."  
  
"Come on, buddy. It will be okay. Don't worry. It's probably just an infection."  
  
"I can't help worrying. It's become my 24 hour job."  
  
I got up and as I started to go inside, I looked back at Steve.  
  
"I sure hope you're right. We can't take anymore bad news." I said.  
  
Twobit's POV  
  
Soda came back inside with Steve right behind him. I knew Soda must have been worried out of his mind. Pony had been through more than enough for a kid his age. I wasn't sure if anyone else noticed, but I thought Darry was acting very calm. It was probably just an act, so he could stay strong for Soda and Pony's sake. I couldn't help hoping that Pony wouldn't wake up until morning. At least he wouldn't be up all night scared or worried about what might happen tomorrow. He probably wouldn't have any nightmares either. I doubted that Soda and Darry would sleep. I knew I couldn't if my little brother might be facing a cancer relapse. I thought about that for a few minutes, wondering if any of us would really sleep that night. While I was lost in my thoughts, Pony walked into the living room. He looked around at all of us and instantly knew that something was wrong.  
  
Darry's POV  
  
I sighed when Pony walked in and told him to sit down because we needed to talk.  
  
"Darry, what's wrong?" He asked.  
  
By the look on his face, I already knew that he had a pretty good idea of what was going on. It had to be the first thing that came to his mind.  
  
"The hospital called, and they said that your white blood count is up again." I said.  
  
"Is it back? Just tell me if the cancer is back." Pony said.  
  
"We don't know, little buddy. You have to go to the hospital tomorrow and get a bone marrow aspiration to see if the cells are leukemic. It could be just an infection though. That's what we have to hope for."  
  
Soda sat down next to Pony and put his arm around him.  
  
"How are you feeling?" He asked.  
  
"I'm feeling okay. My throat's just a little sore."  
  
I was trying to stay calm, but he was having so many of the same symptoms. The bruises, the paleness, and now a sore throat were all what he had before. These could all be caused by other things, but this looked bad. I looked at Pony and saw tears sliding down his cheeks. That made me want to cry, but I wasn't going to. At least not right now.  
  
Later that night as I lay in bed trying to sleep, I finally allowed myself to cry. I cried for Pony and for what might be happening. It wasn't doing any good for me to be there, so I went to my brothers' room and stood in the doorway. They were both sleeping but not peacefully. I was sure it had taken them awhile to get to sleep too. I hoped Pony wouldn't have a nightmare tonight. I was still standing there when Soda woke up and saw me.  
  
"What are you doing in here, Darry?" He whispered.  
  
"I just couldn't sleep." I said.  
  
"Why don't you stay in here with us?" He said as he moved closer to Pony to make room for me.  
  
I grinned and lay down next to my brothers. I definitely felt better when I was with them. It gave me reassurance that together we could get through anything.  
  
Pony's POV  
  
We got up the next morning and headed to the hospital, so I could get this test over with. Steve and Twobit must have left some time last night because they weren't there. When we got to the hospital, we waited for about an hour, and then I finally got in to get the bone marrow aspiration. Those things really hurt, but at least they don't take long. I only got a local anesthetic to numb the area that they put the needle in to draw the marrow out. After it was over, I went back to where my brothers were. The doctors had said that we could go home and wait to get the results, so that's what we did. Steve and Twobit came back over, and we all watched TV or played cards to keep our minds occupied. I don't think that was working very well. At least it wasn't working very well on me.  
  
Steve's POV  
  
I couldn't stand the atmosphere in the Curtis house. No one was happy. We were all worried sick. I hoped the hospital would call soon. At least that would make all the uncertainty go away, and we would know exactly what was going on. There was so much tension in the house that you could've cut it with a knife. Pony seemed to be okay, considering what must have been running through his mind, but I could tell he was scared. Who wouldn't be? Being diagnosed with cancer at all was horrible, but having it come back was even worse. None of us deserved to have to deal with this, but especially not Pony. He was the youngest, yet he had been through the most. I think he was the strongest too. 


	27. Answers & Guilt

Thanks to all reviewers! You guys really make me want to write more!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own the Outsiders.  
  
Darry's POV  
  
The hospital finally called later that day. Everyone looked at me anxiously as I talked on the phone.  
  
"Yes, this is Darryl Curtis."  
  
I listened intently and let out a sigh of relief after I heard the good news. The cells were not leukemia. We still had to find out what Pony had though, and I needed to take him back today. I smiled as I hung up and sat down on the couch.  
  
"It's not cancer." I said.  
  
My brothers and friends relaxed and stopped looking so nervous. We all felt like a huge weight had been lifted off our shoulders. Pony suddenly came over and put his arms around me. I hugged him back.  
  
"I was so scared, Darry." He said.  
  
"I know. It's okay now, but we still need to find out what's wrong. You have to go back today, so they can figure this out." I said.  
  
"I don't want to go back."  
  
"I know, little buddy. You'll be fine. I promise."  
  
Of course Pony didn't want to go back to the hospital. I didn't want to either, but we had to get to the bottom of this. At least now we knew it was more than likely just something simple.  
  
"Are you feeling okay, Pony?" I asked as I felt his forehead. He didn't look too good at all.  
  
I didn't wait for an answer. He was hot, so I went and got the thermometer. Just as I suspected, his temperature was 102.  
  
Soda's POV  
  
We sat in the hospital as the doctor Pony was seeing asked questions about his symptoms. This was much easier to deal with now that we knew it wasn't cancer. Pony told him about his sore throat and fever. We knew that the bruising and paleness was because of what chemo was doing to his blood counts, but what else was going on? The doctor checked his ears and listened to his heart. It wasn't until he looked down his throat that he realized what this might be. He said he was going to swab Pony's throat to check for strep throat. That didn't sound good to me. After he did the test, which almost made my brother choke, he left the room. Pony sat down on the chair next to me and put his head in my lap.  
  
"How are you feeling?" I asked.  
  
"All right. I guess. That test is nothing compared to the others." He answered.  
  
"This should give us some sure answers. It has been a long day." Darry said.  
  
About twenty minutes later, the doctor came back. He said the test was positive. Pony had strep throat. He would need an antibiotic and plenty of rest.  
  
"If either of you get a sore throat, you need to come get checked out. He's contagious now and will be up until 24 hours after the antibiotic starts." The doctor said.  
  
This wasn't exactly good news, but now we knew what to do. It was nothing serious. I just hoped no one else got sick.  
  
"Will this affect whether or not he gets chemo next week?" Darry asked.  
  
"Yes. He shouldn't get any until the medicine is gone, and we know for sure that it worked. We have to get rid of this infection first."  
  
I looked down at Pony and saw him smile when the doctor said he couldn't get chemo until the strep throat was gone. Well, I guess he saw that as a fringe benefit.  
  
The next morning, I woke up with chills, and my throat was sore. I knew I needed to get up, but I just didn't feel like it. Pony was still asleep next to me. He would probably be in bed most of the day.   
  
"Soda, you need to get up and go to work." Darry said as he walked into our room.  
  
I groaned and buried my face in my pillow.  
  
"What's wrong, little buddy?" He asked.  
  
"I don't feel good. My throat's sore, and I think I'm running a fever." I said.  
  
"Not you too."   
  
Darry went and got the thermometer. My temperature was 101. I knew I would wind up at the doctor today.  
  
"All right. Go back to sleep. I'll call you in sick." Darry said.  
  
I drifted back to sleep, and I didn't wake up until a few hours later. When I opened my eyes, Pony was staring at me.  
  
"What are you doing here?" He asked.  
  
"I'm sick too." I said.  
  
"Sore throat?"   
  
"Yeah and a fever too. I bet I've got strep throat."  
  
"I'm sorry, Soda."   
  
It took me a minute to figure out what he meant by that. Why would he apologize? Then, I realized what he was talking about. Strep throat was contagious, and I had gotten it from him.  
  
"Listen to me, Pony. It's not your fault you're sick, and it's not your fault I'm sick." I said.  
  
I hated how he blamed himself for things that obviously were not his fault. Darry had told me that the day Pony was admitted to the hospital, he had apologized to him because he was sick. He didn't do anything wrong, then or now. He had no reason to feel guilty. Pony just shrugged his shoulders and sighed.  
  
"I just feel bad because of everything that has happened lately. My cancer has caused a lot of problems. I wish I could've stopped it. Now, I gave you strep throat too." He said sadly.  
  
"I wish I could've stopped it too, little buddy. None of us could. You did not 'give' me strep throat either. That was beyond our control too." I said.  
  
I wondered if this guilt he was feeling was a normal part of childhood cancer. That is, if anything could be considered normal about it. Pony had felt guilty about stuff before, like with Johnny and Dally. I understood that, but I couldn't understand this. Things like this just happened, and they couldn't be stopped.   
  
"Pony, you trust me. Right?" I said.  
  
"Of course." He said.  
  
"Then, you have to believe me when I say that I don't blame you for any of this. I promise it wasn't your fault. You didn't cause the cancer or the strep throat. Darry, Twobit, and Steve would say the same thing. Please don't blame yourself, and don't feel guilty."  
  
He must have been feeling like this for a long time and just never showed it until now or maybe we hadn't really noticed.  
  
"Soda, I know it's not really my fault, but I can't help feeling guilty. You guys have had to go through too much because of what happened to me." Pony said as he started to cry.  
  
"Come here." I said and pulled him into hug. "Pony, you could not have stopped the cancer. It came to you. We all went through a lot, but it's because we care about you. You made it, and that's makes everything worth it." I said.  
  
After a few minutes, Pony pulled away and looked at me.  
  
"Thanks for listening to me. You really made me feel better, Soda. I don't know what I would do without you." He said.  
  
"I don't know what you would do without me either." I said thoughtfully.  
  
Pony laughed, and I was so glad to hear that.  
  
Pony's POV  
  
Darry came home from work at about 6:00, and he took Soda to the doctor. I went and lied down on the couch in the living room, where Steve and Twobit were.   
  
"Hey, Pony!" Twobit said cheerfully.  
  
I couldn't help smiling at him.  
  
"You feeling better?" He asked.  
  
"A little. The good thing about this is that I can't have any chemo until the strep throat is gone." I said.  
  
"I bet you're happy about that." Steve said.  
  
"Definitely." I answered.  
  
About an hour later, Darry and Soda came in. Soda did have strep throat and would be getting the same medicine I was. Instead of going back to bed, he lied down on the floor next to the couch.  
  
"Why don't you go to bed?" Darry asked Soda.  
  
"I want to stay in here with you guys." He said.  
  
I hoped we would both be feeling better in a few days, so Soda could go back to work, and I wouldn't just lay around the house all day. I didn't know when I was going back to school. I wanted to, but at the same time, I was afraid. What would people say? Would they make fun of me? 


	28. A Walking Miracle

212 reviews now! I feel like updating again! For a while, I thought I was running out of ideas, but not anymore.  
  
Pony's POV  
  
A few days later, I was feeling much better, and Soda was too. Darry still didn't want us up and around too much. He said that I could go back to school in a week when my antibiotic was gone, and we knew the strep throat had cleared up. I was glad that no one else had caught it. Even after I talked to Soda, I still had a large amount of guilt. It was like I had two voices in my head talking to me. One was saying that none of this was my fault, but the other one was saying that I had caused all the pain and all the worry. It was frustrating, but talking to Soda had made me feel better. I was in the living room, and I could hear my brothers talking in the kitchen. Soda had just brought the mail in the house, and it sounded like that was what they were talking about.  
  
"Darry, how are we going to pay all these? Even if we can, more are still going to come." Soda said.  
  
"Don't worry, little buddy. That's my job. I'm sure we can set up a payment plan with the hospital that will work with our income." Darry answered.  
  
Hospital bills? There was something else for me to feel bad about. This could put us in serious debt. They would just keep coming over the next couple of years too. The amount we owed would keep getting bigger.   
  
"Doesn't insurance cover anything?" Soda asked.  
  
"It runs out eventually. Cancer treatments and hospital stays are extremely expensive." Darry said.  
  
I went into the kitchen and looked over Soda's shoulder to see the paper he was holding.  
  
"What came in the mail?" I asked even though I already knew.  
  
"Nothing, Pony. Just the usual bills." Soda said as he put the paper back in the envelope.  
  
"I already know they are hospital bills. I heard you talking." I said.  
  
I wished there was something I could do about this. My illness had already caused enough pain and suffering. It didn't need to cost money we didn't even have too.  
  
"Listen, Pony. Don't worry about any of this. I'll take care of it." Darry said.  
  
"Isn't there something I can do to help?" I asked.  
  
"You really want to help?"  
  
"Of course."  
  
"Then, what you can do is take care of yourself. Another thing you can do is to stop blaming yourself. I know that's what you're thinking."  
  
"I don't know if I can do that. If I had never gotten cancer, none of you guys would have had to suffer anymore, and there wouldn't be any bills that we don't have the money to pay. You wouldn't have had to miss work or take me back and forth to the hospital or spend days away from home." I cried.  
  
"Stop looking at all the bad things, little buddy. Some good things have happened too. We wouldn't be as close as we are now if this hadn't happened. You and Steve wouldn't be real friends, and Twobit would have never stopped drinking." Darry said.  
  
I had never thought of it that way. Darry was right. Good had come out of a horrible situation.  
  
"The best part is that you are now a true miracle, Pony. You beat all the odds." Darry said.  
  
"Yeah, you're a walking miracle." Soda put in.  
  
I smiled at that. What else could I do? It was the truth.   
  
"You guys are right. I'm going to do my best to put all the guilt behind me, but you have to help me." I said.  
  
"We'll do anything we can for you. If you need to talk, we're here. Don't ever hesitate to come to us." Darry said.  
  
"That's what we're here for." Soda said.  
  
"Thanks for helping me get through this." I said.  
  
"You're our baby brother. We'll help you through anything." Darry said.  
  
I felt even better than I did after I talked to Soda the day before. I would be okay now. I just needed my brothers to stick by me, and I knew they always would.  
  
Steve's POV  
  
I walked in the front door of the Curtis house with Twobit right behind me. We found Darry, Soda, and Pony talking in the kitchen.   
  
"Hey, Curtises!" Twobit yelled as he raided the refrigerator.  
  
"Now, what makes you think you can just barge in here and eat all our food?" Darry asked smiling.  
  
"The door was unlocked, and I always barge in and eat your food. I don't eat it all though." Twobit said as he ate a piece of cake.  
  
"Yeah, he leaves a little, and then comes back to eat it the next day." Soda said.  
  
We laughed, and I was reminded of how good it felt to have everyone happy again. These last few days had not been fun with the possibility of Pony relapsing, and both him and Soda being sick with something that was contagious.  
  
"Soda, when are you coming back to work?" I asked.  
  
"Tomorrow." He said.  
  
"Are you sure you're well enough?" Darry asked.  
  
"I'm fine, Darry."  
  
He needed to come back. It wasn't easy trying to handle everything there on my own. Besides, I think the girls that hang around the DX missed him.  
  
"Anybody want to play cards?" Twobit asked.  
  
"I do." Soda said.  
  
They started a game of poker, and I realized that Pony had not said a word since we got there.  
  
"Are you okay, Pony?" I asked him.  
  
"Yeah. I just need to clear my head." He said.  
  
"How are you going to do that?"  
  
"Reading should help."  
  
Pony got up and went to his room. I hoped that whatever was bothering him wasn't a big deal. 


	29. Another Battle

Disclaimer: I do not own the Outsiders.  
  
Thanks to everyone who has reviewed! I hope I make it to 300 soon!   
  
Twobit's POV  
  
I played cards with Soda for about an hour, and then we all settled down and watched TV.  
  
"Where's Pony?" I asked.  
  
"He went to his room. He said he needed to read to clear his head." Steve said.  
  
"Clear his head?"  
  
Darry sighed.  
  
"Pony's been feeling guilty about being sick. He feels like everything that happened is his fault." He said.  
  
"That's ridiculous. He didn't cause it." I said.  
  
"We told him that, but he has to figure that out for himself."  
  
"We just have to be there for him and listen to him. That's all we can do." Soda said.  
  
I couldn't imagine or even begin to understand what Pony must be feeling. I had said it was ridiculous, but maybe it wasn't.   
  
"Is this normal?" I asked.  
  
"It could be. It makes sense for someone with a life threatening illness to feel guilty because of all the worrying and suffering it causes. Of course it isn't really the person's fault, but it's still their disease." Darry said.  
  
"He doesn't only feel bad about the worrying and suffering. He feels bad about the hospital bills and us missing work too." Soda said.  
  
"Well, Pony said he would do his best to put the guilt behind him, but I think it might take some time."  
  
"What did you guys say to him?" Steve asked.  
  
"We said we would help him and to talk to us if he needs to." Soda said.  
  
Pony had to stop feeling guilty. It wouldn't get him anywhere. He had come way too far and been through too much to let this get him down.  
  
"I just don't get it. The cancer came to him. He didn't do anything wrong. Why can't he let it go?" Soda said.  
  
"It's a lot to cope with, Soda. None of us can understand exactly how Pony feels." Darry said.  
  
I agreed with Darry. This had been hard on all of us, but Pony had the worst part. We couldn't know what having cancer was like or how difficult it was to cope with the effects of it.   
  
Pony's POV  
  
I sat in my room reading Gone With the Wind. It usually took my mind off things, but not this time. I just couldn't get into the story. I closed the book and went back into the living room. Talking to the gang should help. I thought.  
  
"Hey, Pony! Did you clear your head?" Twobit asked, smiling.  
  
I shook my head as I sat down on the couch.  
  
"Reading didn't help?" Soda asked.  
  
"No." I answered.  
  
I wanted to talk, but I didn't know what to say. I had too much bothering me. It wasn't just guilt. I was worried about my health, going back to school, and everything else that cancer affected. That pretty much covered my whole life. I was trying so hard to be normal, but that didn't seem like it was ever going to be possible. Right after I got home from the hospital, I just blocked out all my feelings and concentrated on being normal. Now, those pent up feelings were starting to bother me.  
  
"What's wrong, little buddy?" Soda asked as he sat down next to me.  
  
I shrugged my shoulders.  
  
"It's more than what you said before. Isn't it?" He said.  
  
"Pony, you know you can talk to us." Darry said.  
  
I sighed. "I know. Yeah, it is more than I said before."  
  
"What else is bothering you?"  
  
"It's hard to explain. I'm worried going back to school and what people might say, and I'm scared the cancer will come back. I've been trying so hard to be normal and live life like I should, but when it looked like I had relapsed, reality hit me hard." I said, trying to hold back tears.  
  
It had gotten really quiet in the house. Nobody was moving or saying a word. Someone had even turned off the TV.   
  
"Reality has a way of doing that." Soda broke the silence.  
  
"When I got released from the hospital, I blocked out all the feelings I had. I pretended I was normal and not scared at all, but that won't work anymore. It's all getting to me."  
  
"You never had to pretend anything, Pony. We sure didn't. We've been worried and scared since you were diagnosed, and that has always shown itself." Darry said.  
  
"I was just trying to put it all behind me, but when I started feeling guilty..."  
  
"It's just too much. Right?"  
  
"Yeah. I thought I was fine, but I'm not. Cancer has affected my entire life. It's affected you guys. It's not over yet either. It will never be over."  
  
Soda's POV  
  
Pony was finally talking about how the cancer had affected him and how he felt. At first, he only talked about guilt. Now, he was talking about being worried and scared. He had the same things on his mind as Darry and me did. He just didn't show it. Unfortunately, I was sure keeping all his feelings in like that and pretending nothing was wrong hadn't helped. The only emotion Pony had talked about since he came home was how he wanted to be normal. He acted like all that was bothering him was how we were worrying about him getting sick. Then, the reality of relapse showed itself, and everything Pony had been trying to keep inside came crashing down.  
  
"Listen, Pony. You have to talk to us about these things because you're not helping yourself if you don't. It's okay that you're scared, but you can't pretend you're not. That won't make it go away." I said.  
  
"I know, but it's hard to talk about. When I came home, I just wanted to forget about all of it. Now, I know that won't happen." Pony said.  
  
Well, I don't think you'll ever really forget about it, but you can learn to deal with it without being upset or feeling guilty all the time. The way to do that is to talk to us." I said.  
  
I looked over at Steve and Twobit. They had moved to the kitchen table, but they were still listening to what was being said.   
  
"I don't feel like I did before about the guilt, so talking about that did help." Pony said.  
  
"I bet talking about everything else did too." Darry said.  
  
"It did help, but I think it will be a while before I really feel better. I keep thinking about school too."  
  
"What about it?"  
  
"What will everyone say or will they make fun of me? Will they want me around anymore?"  
  
"I'm sure your classmates miss you, so don't worry about anyone else. Besides, you got Steve and Twobit here to back you up." I said.  
  
"It's good that you're talking about all this, little buddy. Keep doing that. Everything on your mind is just another battle that you have to fight. You'll win too." Darry said.  
  
"I'm trying to win, but it's hard not to let it get me down." Pony said.  
  
"What do you think Mom and Dad would say if they were here right now?" I asked.  
  
"They would tell me to keep my spirits up."  
  
I agreed with him about that. Our parents would want all of us to keep our spirits up while fighting a battle, no matter what kind it was.  
  
A/N Review please! 


	30. Courage

Disclaimer: I do not own the Outsiders.  
  
Thanks for the reviews! I feel like writing again today, so I hope you all enjoy it.  
  
Pony's POV  
  
About a week later, I went back to the doctor to make sure that the strep throat was gone. The test came back negative, so Darry said I could go to school the next day. I still felt hesitant about going, but I didn't think that was going to change. I just had to go and see what happened. Like Soda had said, Twobit and Steve would be there. I was really behind on my work, and I hoped I could catch up soon, so my grades wouldn't fall. That would just be extra stress since I was still on chemo and everything. I would get more of that tomorrow after school, and I wasn't looking forward to it. The whole gang was in the living room relaxing and talking, and the subject of school came up.  
  
"Are you ready to go back, Pony?" Twobit asked.  
  
"I guess so." I said.  
  
"You can wait longer if you want to, little buddy. There's no hurry." Darry said.  
  
"If I don't go now, I'll never want to. It's getting late, guys. I'm going to bed, so I'm not tired tomorrow." I said as I went to my room.  
  
I heard everyone tell me good night, and then they quieted down.  
  
"Pony, if you're going to school, you need to get up right now!" I heard Darry yell from the kitchen.  
  
I opened my eyes and saw that Soda was already out of bed and heard the door slam as Steve and Twobit came in. I got up and went to take a shower before breakfast. I made sure to put on a hat when I got dressed. No way was I going to school without it.  
  
"Hey, Pony. Are you almost ready to go?" Twobit asked cheerfully.  
  
He was the only person I knew who could be that cheerful this early in the morning.  
  
"Yeah. I think so." I said.  
  
"Have a good day, and don't worry so much. Okay?" Soda said as he and Darry left for work.  
  
"All right." I said.  
  
I quickly ate some bacon and eggs, and then followed Steve and Twobit out the door. We got to the school in about five minutes and went off in different directions to our classes before lunch. We all had lunch fourth period. I went to my homeroom, and when I walked in, I felt like everyone was staring at me. Then, people started whispering to each other.  
  
"Isn't that the boy with cancer?"  
  
"Can we catch what he has?"  
  
"Is he bald?"  
  
My face must have turned red, but I didn't say anything. I just sat down in my seat. I've always been a loner, which isn't so bad. Now, I was a loner with cancer. That was really bad. The rest of the day went pretty much the same. The teachers said they were glad to see me and so did a few a my classmates, but that couldn't make up for all the staring and whispering. I felt like such an outcast. I was glad when lunch came, so I could see Steve and Twobit again. I was sitting at a table in the cafeteria when Cherry Valance came up to me.  
  
"Hi, Ponyboy. It's nice to see you back." She said.  
  
"Thanks." I said.  
  
"So, how has your first day back been?" She asked.  
  
"Okay. I guess. People keep staring at me and talking about me."  
  
"Just ignore them. They probably don't have anything better to do."  
  
"I wish they would find something better to do." I said and grinned at her.  
  
It was nice to know I had a friend to talk to here besides Steve and Twobit.  
  
"Well, I need to go get some lunch. I'll see you later. Hang in there, Ponyboy." Cherry said as she walked away.  
  
Twobit walked into the cafeteria a few minutes later.  
  
"Are you going to the DX? Steve is already on his way. I told him I would get you and catch up to him." He said.  
  
"Sure. I'm ready to get out of this place." I said.  
  
We walked by a group of socs on our way out, and I caught a little of their conversation.  
  
"Hey, there's the greaser that has cancer."  
  
"He's back? I thought he would die, and we would have one less greaser around here."  
  
"Yeah, too bad. We would have had one less of that trash with long hair."  
  
"He doesn't have any hair now. It's all gone!"  
  
They all laughed, and a lot of people were looking at me. They had been talking considerably loud, so Twobit and me weren't the only ones who heard them.  
  
"What the matter, greaser? Did we hurt your feelings?" One of the socs said tauntingly.  
  
I started to walk away, but one of them reached out and snatched my hat right off my head. I turned around and snatched it back.  
  
"Why don't you just leave me alone?" I asked.  
  
"If you bother him one more time..." Twobit started.   
  
He looked ready for a fight, but I wasn't going to let him into this.  
  
"Twobit, stay out of this." I said.  
  
Twobit was staring at them with a threatening look, and his teeth were clenched. The only reason he hadn't fought them was that he knew I didn't want him getting in trouble because of me.  
  
The socs laughed and taunted me some more.  
  
"What are you going to do, cancer boy?"  
  
"Without that hair of yours, you're not much of a greaser anymore."  
  
"You're just a bald, sick, skinny little kid."  
  
I could take it anymore. I was embarrassed that they were teasing me in front of so many people, and I was embarrassed that I was trying really hard not to cry. I ran out of the cafeteria as fast as I could and into the nearest bathroom.  
  
Twobit's POV  
  
If Pony hadn't wanted me to stay out of this, I would have given those socs a few black eyes already. He didn't deserve to be picked on like that. When Pony ran off, it took all the strength I had not to fight them. Instead, I went to find him. There weren't many places he could go, so I checked the nearest bathroom. Sure enough, Pony was in there and up against the wall. He had his knees pulled up to his chest and his face buried in his hands. He hadn't heard me come in, so I sat down next to him. Pony jumped a little when he realized someone was there.  
  
"It's just me." I said.  
  
Pony looked up, and I saw tears streaming down his cheeks.  
  
"I don't understand it, Twobit. Why do they have to pick on me about something like this? If it was something I could control, it would be different. I couldn't control getting cancer." He said sadly.  
  
"I don't know, kid. They just don't care about anyone but themselves." I said.  
  
"I thought today might not be so bad compared to when I came back after Johnny and Dally died and everything, but it was worse." Pony said.  
  
I put my arm around his shoulders in an attempt to be comforting, but that was Soda's department. Sometimes it was Darry's, but never mine. I guessed it was my turn to try now, considering I was the only one around.  
  
"Pony, don't listen to them. They don't know what they're talking about. It took a lot of courage for you to come here today. Do you realize that?" I said.  
  
"Yeah. I guess it did." He said.  
  
"Everyone will forget that you had cancer soon and move on to talking about something else."  
  
"I hope so."  
  
"Maybe you should just go home. There's no point in dragging this day out any longer. You've been through enough."  
  
Pony smiled and shook his head.  
  
"So, does Twobit know what's best now?" He asked.  
  
"Yeah, I sure do." I smiled too.  
  
"Okay. Then, let's go." Pony said.  
  
We left the school and went to the Curtis house. We had lunch there, and Pony did homework while I watched Mickey mouse on TV until everyone else got there.  
  
A/N Review please! 


	31. Hard Day & Sleepless Night

Disclaimer: I don't own the Outsiders. The genius S.E. Hinton does.  
A/N: Thanks for the reviews. It looks like some people are curious about what Darry might say or do, so let's find out.  
  
Darry's POV  
  
I came home from work and found Twobit and Pony watching TV. Pony looked like he was lost in his thoughts, but that's not unusual for him.  
"Hey, guys. How was your day?" I asked.  
"Difficult." Pony answered.  
"Why? What happened?" I said as I sat down next to Pony.  
Twobit quickly explained what had happened at school with the socs.  
"It was so embarrassing, Darry. I never bother them, but they pick on me for something I can't control. All day long kids were staring at me and talking about me." Pony said.  
I couldn't imagine how Pony must feel. He loved school, but kids were making it difficult for him to adjust again and be a normal student. I really didn't know what to do about this except talk to Pony and help him deal with it. It made me furious that these socs had teased my little brother like that, but what could I do about it? We didn't even know their names.  
"I don't want to go back to school." Pony said.  
"Come on, Pony. You love school. You have to go eventually, and if you stay away any longer, it will just get worse." I said.  
We heard the screen door open and shut as Soda and Steve came in from the DX.  
"Hey, Twobit, what happened to you and Pony earlier? I thought you were going to the DX at lunch." Steve said.  
Soda and Steve listened as Pony explained the situation to them.  
"Stupid socs." Steve said.  
"Don't they have anything better to do?" Soda said.  
"I would have given them something better to do, but Pony wanted me to stay out of it." Twobit said.  
"Why?" Steve asked.  
"Fighting has never solved our problems before. Why would it now?" Pony said.  
That made me really proud of him. He was right. Fighting never solved anything, and I was sure he also hadn't wanted Twobit to get hurt defending him.  
"Besides, if Twobit fought for me, I would get teased even more for not doing it myself. They will probably have something to say about how I ran out of the cafeteria too." Pony said.  
"There are other ways to defend yourself besides fighting." I said.  
"Yeah, you can talk back to them and walk away or just pretend they aren't there. That would probably drive them crazy because most greasers do fight them over things like this, but that's exactly what they want. They want to make you angry enough to fight." Soda said.  
Soda was right about that even though ignoring a bully was something our parents told us to do in elementary school. It could work on socs since they wanted to get attention. Of course, it could also make things worse if they decided to just get rougher. I didn't want Pony fighting at school anyway, and I'm sure Soda knew that. That must have been why he was trying to think of other ways of handling this.  
"They're probably just a bunch of cowards anyway." Steve said.  
"Getting on their nerves by not fighting like they want you to might be enough to make them back off. Their main goals are to get attention and get you in trouble since the greaser would always take the blame no matter what the soc does." Soda said.  
He was doing a good job giving advice, but I was trying to think of something to tell Pony too.  
"I guess I just have to stand up for myself." Pony said.  
"You're better than them, little buddy. They are not worth worrying about. Those socs just tease you because they know they would never be able to handle what you went through. They think it's one big joke." I said.

Pony had to go to the hospital a little later that day to get chemo. When we got home, he was sick and tired as usual. I hated to think that we were actually getting used to this, but we were. I guess we had to if life was going to be normal at all. It was going to be great when Pony was finally done with treatment, but he still had a long way to go.

Pony's POV 

I did not sleep well at all that night. I tried to because I wanted to go to school the next day, but it was no use. I just kept getting sick and throwing up. The mouth sores had gotten a lot better, but they were still there. I didn't want to bother Soda, so instead of going back and forth every time I got sick, I just stayed in the bathroom. Of course, I should have known that he would realize I wasn't next to him and get up anyway. That's exactly what he did at about 4:00 a.m.  
"Hey, Pony. You okay?" Soda asked.  
"I'm fine. Go back to bed, Soda. You have work tomorrow." I said.  
As soon as those words were out of my mouth, I threw up yet again. He was really going to believe I was fine now, wasn't he? Soda ignored what I said and sat down next to me as I leaned against the wall.  
"If you're fine, why are you spending the night in the bathroom?" He asked.  
I didn't answer. Instead I put my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes. I drifted off to sleep. I was so tired, but my stomach wouldn't settle long enough for me to get any rest. I woke up about a half hour later, and Soda was looking at me worriedly.  
"I'm sorry, Soda. I didn't mean to fall asleep and keep you in here." I said. "It's okay, little buddy." He answered.  
"I feel horrible, and I really didn't want to get up. I was only in here in the first place because I didn't want to bother you, but that didn't work too well." I said.  
Soda smiled a little.  
"Haven't you figured it out yet, Pony? If you wake me up in the middle of the night because you're sick, it doesn't bother me. I want you to tell me. You don't have to spend the whole night in here alone. I want to be here for you." He said.  
I smiled a little too. That was just like Soda.  
"I feel a little better now, and I need something to drink." I said.  
My mouth was really dry, and some water might help.  
"Sure. How about some chocolate milk?" Soda joked.  
"I'm not quite ready for that yet." I said grinning.  
I loved how Soda could still make me smile even when I felt lousy. We went to the kitchen, and I got some water. It was about twenty minutes before five, so Darry would be up in a little bit. I definitely wasn't going to school. Even if I wanted to, there was no way he would let me. The water made me feel better, so I went back to bed to see about finally getting some sleep.  
  
A/N Review please! Gosh, I need to find a place to end this, so I can do the epilogue. Thanks a bunch to everyone who has reviewed. Help me make it to 300! I was asked in a review if anyone I know has cancer. The answer to that is yes. None have leukemia, but several of my friends and family have had cancer. My cousin had lymphoma, which is similar to leukemia. He's the youngest in my family to have it. The rest are older, and they had more common ones, like breast or colon cancer.


	32. A Few Questions

Disclaimer: I don't own the Outsiders.

A/N: Thanks for the reviews! You guys are the best! I already have a plan for my next story right after I finish this one. I'm trying to get to the epilogue, so this chapter should be longer than usual.

Darry's POV  
  
I came home from work at noon to have lunch and found Pony asleep on the couch. He looked

better than he had this morning, but I guess he was still tired. I would be too if I spent the whole

night in the bathroom. I went to the kitchen and made myself a sandwich, then I got Pony some

water and took it to him.

"Pony, wake up." I said.

He opened his eyes and sat up.

"Hey, Darry. What time is it?" He asked.

"About noon. You need to drink something. Have you eaten anything?"

I handed him the glass of water.

"No, I don't feel like eating." Pony said as he drank the water.

I kept telling myself not to worry. It was just part of chemo. I couldn't help it though. Worrying

was part of being a big brother.

"Please eat something, little buddy." I said.

"I'm okay, Darry. I'm just not hungry. I will be later. Stop worrying, and go back to work."

Pony said.

"All right. I guess I've worried enough for now."

I finished eating and started to leave.

"I'll be back later. Soda should get back before I do. Rest up and feel better." I said.

"I will. I promise." Pony said.

Twobit's POV

I was tired of school. I normally liked it, but today I just wanted out. I decided to skip my last

two classes and go see how Pony was doing. I walked out the door without anyone noticing and

walked the short distance to the Curtis house.

"Anybody home?" I yelled as the door slammed shut.

"I'm in my room." I heard Pony yell.

I went down the hall and into Pony's room. He was sitting on his bed reading a book.

"Feeling better?" I asked.

"Yeah, much better." He said.

"I decided to skip the rest of the day and come see you. School was boring."

"It's not exciting here either. I'd rather be at school." We sat in silence for a few minutes. Pony

was completely absorbed in his book, but suddenly he looked up from it as if he had just

remembered something.

"Hey, Twobit?" Pony said.

"Yeah." I said.

"Can I ask you something?" "Sure. I guess so."

I didn't know what he was about to ask, but I was getting very curious.

"I forgot about this until just now because of everything that happened yesterday, but I just

found out that I have to write an essay for English." Pony said.

I nodded, which told him to continue. What could that have to do with me?

"The topic has to be something that changed my life and the lives of my family and friends. I've

already written about my parents and Dally and Johnny, so this time I decided to write about my

cancer."

"So what did you want to ask me?" I asked even though I already had a good idea of where this

was going.

"Well, I know my cancer affected all of you guys, so I want to know how exactly. I'm going to

write down what everyone says, so you all have a part in it." Pony said.

This was going to be difficult. Not just for me, but for all of us. We couldn't only talk about the

good things that had come out of Pony having cancer. The bad things had to be mentioned too.

"Okay. What all do you want to know?" I said.

Pony got out a sheet of paper and a pen and wrote my name down on it.

"First, tell me good things that happened because of the cancer." He said.

"I quit drinking." I said.

"Why?" "I realized I didn't need it anymore. It couldn't make you well or make things any easier.

It just made me sick."

Pony wrote all this down. Then, came the hard part. "What about the bad things?" He asked.

I took a deep breath before speaking. I wished I could joke my way through this.

"Obviously, it's hard to see you go through chemo and everything. I guess the worst part is

knowing you could've died, and the cancer could still come back any time." I said.

As Pony wrote everything down, I thought I could see tears forming in his eyes. I shouldn't have

mentioned dying to him.

"I'm sorry, Pony..." I started.

"No, it's okay. It's the truth. Besides, I think I just realized the best thing that came out of having

cancer."

Steve's POV

When Soda and I got to the Curtis house, we found Pony and Twobit talking. We had no idea

what the conversation was about until Pony told us his essay topic. It turned out I was the next

one to answer questions. He was saving Darry and Soda for last.

"Okay, Steve. Tell me a good thing that came out of my having cancer." Pony said.

"That's an easy answer. We get along now. We're really friends." I said.

Pony smiled as he wrote this down.

"What about a bad thing?" He asked.

I thought about this a for a few minutes before I answered. I was sure we would all have a

similar answer to that question.

"It's hard seeing you so sick and worrying that we could lose another friend because of this

disease." I said.

Pony didn't say anything as he wrote. He was deep in thought, but he looked up when I spoke.

"What did Twobit say?" I asked.

"I'm not telling you guys what anyone else says. Don't tell each other either. You'll just have to

wait and find out." He said grinning.

Darry's POV

Soda and Twobit told me what was going on with the essay questions when I came home. Pony

had a really good idea. This was a great way to bring some closure to the situation since the

worst seemed to be over, and we were only dealing with the aftermath. However, I wasn't quite

ready for the emotions that this topic would stir up.

"So you want to know something good that came out of the cancer?" I asked.

"Right." Pony said.

"Pony, I didn't realize how important you are to me until all this happened. We're a lot closer. In

fact, seeing you go through cancer has made me realize that you're the most amazing person I

know. You didn't give up even when it looked really bad, and we were all scared. I'm proud of

you for that." I said.

Pony was smiling, but he was crying too. He wrote what I had said down, then went on to the

next question.

"What about the bad things?" He asked.

"There's nothing like watching your little brother go through something like cancer. Everyday I

wondered if you would feel better or if you could go home. The worst part was thinking we

were going to lose another member of our family." I said.

As soon as Pony finished writing, he broke down sobbing. I hugged him until he calmed down,

then he pulled away from me.

"I love you, Darry." He said.

"I love you too, Pony." I said.

"This is coming along better than I expected. It's becoming more than an essay." Pony said.

I left the room, and Soda went in. He was the last one, and I had a feeling he was going to have

the hardest time.

Soda's POV  
  
Pony's eyes were red when I came in, so I knew he had been crying. I would probably be

crying soon too.

"Soda, I think you already know what the first question is. So, what's your answer?" Pony

asked grinning.

"Well, I realized that you are more special to me than anyone else could ever be, and I learned

that we can get through anything as long as we stick together as friends and as a family." I said.

When Pony was writing my answer down, I realized that I was trembling. I didn't want to think

about the terrible things that this cancer had caused. "What about something bad?" Pony asked.

"There are more than I could ever name, but I'll give you the worst of them. You almost died,

Pony. We almost lost you. For a while, I really believed you were going to die. As if that's not

bad enough, you still have to deal with chemo and feeling guilty and the possibility of the cancer

coming back." I said.

There were tears sliding down my cheeks, and Pony looked alarmed like he hadn't expected

that.

"Soda, it's okay. I made it." Pony said as he started to cry again too.

My baby brother comforted me this time when he pulled me into a hug.

Pony's POV

Later that night, I was reading over everything I had written down. Of course, what my friends

and my brothers had said all had a common theme. This essay was going to be a powerful one.

It wasn't due for three weeks, but I was going to start on it right now. It began like this:

One of the things that has affected my life the most just recently happened. It is a continuing

battle for me, my family, and my friends. It is one of the worst things that has ever happened to

me, but in some ways, it is also one of the best. My name is Ponyboy Curtis, and I have

cancer...

A/N: Yes! The epilogue is next.


	33. Epilogue

Disclaimer: I don't own the Outsiders.  
A/N: Well, here we go...

Pony's POV- about 2 years later...  
  
I'm seventeen years old now, a senior in high school, so it has been a little over two years since I

was diagnosed with leukemia. I went to the hospital to get the last of my chemo yesterday. The

whole gang came with me. I was still sick afterwards, but it made me feel better to know that

would be the last time. I also had one last bone marrow aspiration and a spinal tap to make sure

everything was completely clear. Of course, I still have to go once a month for bloodwork, but

I'll take that over chemo. The essay I wrote for English came out great. I read it in front of the

class, and people who had teased or stared at me before suddenly seemed to understand better.

Some even apologized to me, and that included two of the socs who had teased me in the

cafeteria the first day I went back to school. They just hadn't realized what I went through.

Many of my classmates were surprised that I had found good things about having cancer. The

best thing was how much closer I am to my brothers and my friends. We can talk about anything

and get through anything together. I also realized how important it is to enjoy life no matter what

happens. You never know when things might change.

Darry's POV

We are all so happy that Pony is finally through with treatment. The past two years have been

full of sleepless nights and sickness for him. Even so, the doctors have said how remarkable it is

that he is still alive. They were serious when we were told that most kids don't survive this,

especially the ones that have the amount of cancer cells actually increase during treatment, like

Pony did. What's even rarer is how he went into remission when he hadn't had chemo in days.

It's like one minute, his blast count was sky high, then the next it was zero. The doctors said they

had never seen that happen. Well, Pony never was a typical teenager. He definitely is not a

typical leukemia patient either. Wait until he reaches the five year remission mark and is

proclaimed cured. That's still years from now, but I know he'll make it. My little brother beat

cancer for a reason, and he's already someone special. He'll grow up and live a healthy life, free

from cancer. Soda, Twobit, Steve, and I couldn't be more proud of him. I'm sure Dally and

Johnny and our parents are just as proud.

A/N: I know it's short, but this is just to tie up some lose ends and conclude everything. What do you think about a sequel? I could keep this storyline alive. I can't believe I'm done with this! I need to get another story rolling! Thanks to everyone who has ever reviewed. It really means a lot. I don't know if I would have kept going without it. Especially not 32 chapters and an epilogue!


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